this is my second random question here!!
so... what's your favorite kikuo song to listen with headphones?
- mine would be dark festival as #1 forever.
then love me love me love me, sea is and hole-dwelling (basic songs but still amazing) fight for second place!
oh yeah im 14, apagender.
WARNING: suicidal thoughts and attempts, self harm, violence(?).
why can i not stop thinking about death, both wanting to die and being scared of it?
i feel like everyone is just using me as a punching bag. almost al my friends eventually touched me or hit me in public. some just talk to me for emotional support and then they leave and make plans in front of me. that dosnst help with being sacred of being alone.
my psychologist says i need to learn to say ’no’.
but i don’t even know who i am. i’m too scared to be left alone i prefer sacrificing me honestly.
i also randomlu emotionally attach to a random friend and love them, but then suddenly hate them and move to someone else.
i feel like an ai slop between cgi videos, if the younger know what i mean.
i feel sooooo empty and i dont even know if i like me at this point. who am i?
am i bad enough to go to two psychologists and one psychiatrist at the same time?
i don’t feel like i’m bad though.
i also basically gamble my own life. im so stormy and impulsive i take huge risks and i dont realize until i hurt someone or myself (emotionally)
i lost my 1-year clean streso recently but i’m making a new one! it’s been like one momth
uh yeah i feel very unattached to my body
this are all just things that happen to me. i’m not going to emphasize. i just need quick help for when im not with any guidance.
i almost forgot i kind of like dissociating or whatever it is bc it takes away all emotions, including my dysphoria. it can happen all day or for s bit. many times i can talk perfectly but i just cant say im like seeing my life and not controlling it. like i’m on a cinema. sometimes after zoning out or “dissociating” i forget many recent things, sometimes i forget everything from that day and last memory is going to sleep. other times i wake up crying, others hallucinating a bit. sometimes i’m totally on another world.
i have been super cynical, paranoid, stormy and flakey lately. super.
thanks!
i probably missed so many things bc i have too many things to say but, these are my main thought. like i said i’m getting help so im just looking for a small safe place where i can also help other people :) while we all wait for clinical attentio.
gireotdeon day and night (yeah, yeah)
hit me, hit me up, hit me, hit me up now, oh (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh)
ne mam da untie (oh)
show me right now, yeah, show me right now, ooh (yeah, yeah, yeah)
super, super, supersonic, supersonic, uh
super, super, supersonic, supersonic, uh
don't deny (oh, woah, oh)
show me right now, yeah, show me, oh, supersonic
my friends says she's ugly. at least she says 'she', right? her face might seem off for some but for me it's worth being my pfp, even in my school google account AND YES, my pfp is anais watterson x brandy. #brandy #nitti #flop #67
i'm attaching a video i kindly forced my friend to make with some ai. THIS IS FAKE, AND ESPECIALLY IS NOT HATING ON BRANDY, IT'S PRASING HER. diva.
has anyone else realized that for every trend regarding a kikuo song that dies two more emerge?
twins at the carousel is starting to die, and honestly i got so fed up im kinda glad, but that means kikuo is maybe losing half a million listeners, bc they came for the twins at the carousel trend. it easily is the biggest kikuo trend in years
before was chiri chiri juso, but at least for me this song had TWO trend peaks, one this year (omg i constantly was uneasy about my pfp lol)
and before was mizu mizu yu yu i think?
*of course song like aishite aishite aishite and gomenne gomenne do not count bc they are already hits, they are always trending*