My mom is the dirtiest person I know
Ever since teenager I started to notice how dirty my house is and how it is not normal. My mom diagnosed with BPD before I even born. She never clean or tidy the house since I was a child and only did it once or twice a year on special occasion. She never mopped the floor, only sweeping with a broom. There’s dust, gunk, and spiders web everywhere in our house. When she cooks, she would peel the vegetables or fruit and drop its peel directly onto the floor and just leaving it there. She left food waste, pastic packaging, plastic bag, empty bottles of condiments and every kitchen trash you can think of in the kitchen. There will be trash in every corner of her kitchen. When she eat something with peel or shell on, she will drop it down the dining table or the living room space. I once ask her why won’t she just peel the vegetables in a used plastic bag so it’ll be easier to throw it away, and why she keeps tossing the peanuts shell on the floor like that?, she just replied with “It’s my house I can do whatever I want, if you got a problem- go find somewhere else to live, or: Are you my mother to tell me what to do?” It’s very painful inside sometimes when she tosses fish bones, chicken bone, peanut shells etc on the floor. Is our house floor filthy? Yes absolutely especially around the dining table. The floor is covered with food gunk and dirt because both her and my younger brother have the same habits of tossing trash everywhere they go and have no sense of cleanliness. They also don’t clean their hand before eating or cooking too. My mom often doesn’t use soap when doing the dishes if she couldn’t find it. She would just rinse the dirty dishes with water and put it back into the cupboard. She uses wash clothes instead of sponges with soap and always throws my sponge away because she think it doesn’t clean the dishes. When I go back to visit, I have to hide my sponge to do my own separate dishes with soap because I don’t trust that she will use any since her clean dishes are still oily to touch. I tried helping by cleaning the dishes, mopping the floor, get rid of the trash but it always goes back to the way it was or worse. If I cleaned the sink today, tomorrow I will woke up with a sink filled with 30 of dirty dishes, spoons and cookwares even if there’re only 4 people in our family because she cooks nonstop from morning till night during manic episodes. She uses 2-3 plates just to place the same dishes so we have more dishes to wash. She tossed trash everywhere she goes and think someone will just clean up after her. She never feels any guilt because she owns this filthy house. Two years ago before I left the house for school, my other bedroom (now my brother’s) was clean with no trash at all, before I left, I took out all their trash and clean the whole house. When I come back, the bedroom is filled with hundreds of soda cans, water bottles and trash. The kitchen area got even filthier. I complain to my parents about my brother but they said I should clean it up because my 14yo brother is a boy, therefore it’s not boy thing to clean up. They allow my brother to eat his meal in the living room and left the dirty plate wherever he wants because mom will pick up after him.
Thanks for reading. I come back to this house for 2 weeks and I already started to lose my mind. Writing this makes me feel a little better. I wish in another life I will born into a normal clean family.