Hello friends! I am recently licensed and looking for suggestions on which real estate brokerages to apply with, who you think has the best reputation, good support and training and also any suggestions on questions I should be asking to assure I am landing in a good spot for long term growth. I appreciate any/all feedback, thank you so very much for your time!!
I just need to share what I’m dealing with because I am feeling very alone. I am 33 y/o and have been dealing with this since I was about 18/19. Two summers ago I got salmonella poisoning pretty bad, and around that time i was approaching a decent relationship with my body…still not perfect but I was trying. (not restricting everyday) I met the absolute love of my life that summer, and gained two step kids for a total of three kiddos between us. When I got salmonella, I lost weight FAST. It last over three months and ended with c-diff from the various antibiotics used to try and mitigate the situation. While losing the weight, even though I felt miserable and tired constantly, it awakened my ED all over again. After healing from the infections, I gained all my weight back and then some. I have been trying so hard to make the “right choices” and eat healthy, full meals and do weight training. The gym has always been a hard place for me because it usually leads back to ED patterns eventually but this time I’ve last four months and thought I was doing okay.
Fast forward to now, I saw photos of myself from a wedding I was in and also another event my partner and I attended and am now starting to panic like my original ED days. I feel like I would rather not exist than be the size I am. None of my clothes fit me properly, and I’ve been experiencing foot pain every day for months. So my brain tells me that dieting again is the only option. To deal with the pain of my feet, and the mental gymnastics that I have to do to just exist in this form. I talked to my partner about my feelings of body insecurity and she suggested that maybe I start seeing a personal trainer. This pretty much solidified my horrid feelings that I am out of control size wise.
I’m so tired of relapsing and having my weight yo-yo every time, but I’m also starting to wonder if maybe this is just what existing means for someone like me. I’ve never been to inpatient for my ED, although been to inpatient for other MH reasons. No matter how many times or how long I make the “right” or “healthy” choices for, it just doesn’t go away. I wish I didn’t even have a body most days.
TLDR: I just need to be heard by someone who understands. I’m feeling very alone in this right now. :(