So like I was meditating to Azazels enn with a 444 hz sine wave so loud I think it lobotomized me. I've been doing this consistently for 4 months and now I have covid. What did I do wrong?!?!?! (No but like satire aside it feels like I deepthroated a cactus fuck if anyone here has any tips I will take. What better place for medical advice then a circlejerk)
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I tried to contact Azazel. I enjoy using my hands, so I drew his sigil while listening to a chant. I then tried to focus on the image of his sigil while listening to the chant and meditating. Partway through, I felt fear, I tried to sit up straight but was visibly shaking and it was pretty obvious I was scared. The feeling left, and I asked if I could have one more chance. The fear came again, and I had the same response. I felt what the whatever this is equivalent of a disappointed glance and the feeling went away again.
I know exactly what I did wrong, and I don't know if I want to bother Azazel again. Part of me wonders if I'm making it up, though. Like I was only feeling fear from the mantra and not anything spiritual. I did also feel a presence. I can't describe how it felt just yet.
Hello, this will be my first post here as I try to find my path.
As a child, I've always had voices, not like, voices voices, but little "injections" into my thoughts. They aren't mine, I can't predict or control them. I have diagnosed OCD and dissociative symptoms, but these are different from intrusive thoughts. I always called them "God". The thoughts aren't anything crazy. Sometimes it'll be commentary "I lived once" "I remember here". Other times it'll be like eavesdropping on someone else's conversation, I'll hear parts of it and that's it.
Has anyone else experienced something like this? I feel as if at the time, I called them God because I was raised Christian and it was all I knew, but now I'd say they're closer to neutral spirits or demons. I've come to realize demons aren't inherently "bad", as with all things, they live in the grey space.