u/Shoddy_Ad_9041

English is not my first language!!

I officially came out as trans 3/4 months ago. I’ve known for at least 5 years now but i was trying so hard to convince myself that i wasn’t. I was trying to feminize myself for almost a year, i was trying to believe that i’m just a lesbian or that i’m just non binary or even maybe gender fluid but that was making me hate myself more and more.
I had the S though because of being trans and trying to convince myself that i wasn’t. I started sh’ing and i didn’t even consider that i could live to the age that i am now. I was also extremely lonely in that point of my life and that was probably making it worse.
I’m glad that i didn’t kill myself at 14 because i’m much better not, its still not as good as i would like it to be but yeah. I feel like the worse part of my life has almost ended (and not because of suicide).
I never thought that i would say that but i want to live, i want to go to an university, i want to Start my life.

i’m 17 and i was diagnosed half a year ago, my ablation is planned inna month. When i first got diagnosed i got so anxious that i would cry myself to sleep pretty much everyday. I hated myself so much for having wpw because i love sports. I was under a lot of academical stress and the diagnosis only added to that.. My parents and friends were supportive and it was only making me more mad. I was so terrified because my heart is “broken” and i didn’t even do anything to break it.
It might sound pathetic but i was under so much constant stress that my personality started changing.. i didn’t notice that but my gf did and that only made me more stressed. I was trying so hard to be “me” again because i was terrified of her leaving me.
Sorry for my poor english but its not my first language.