Messed up Intution
I have a friend named Shelly. She has a question to discuss about intuition!
“Hi this is Shelly. I apologize for the inconvenience and chaos mind direction but this needs to be addressed. When intuition is messed up from isolation, traumatic brain injury, stuck with the wrong & unsupportive people, many job rejection from intuition direction, strong hindsight & foresight of everything and stuck with dysfunctional family, how can I hear my real intuition than just from the influence of others that mask as intuition or mask as anxiety?
Example: I needed to socialize and loss many intuitive friends where only sensors were available so, I hung out with them to avoid isolation as an extrovert who needs social but my intuition was screaming to stop hanging out with them since it doesn’t help with the real kind of socializing i need and because I allowed the influence of sensors, my intuition was becoming misaligned and my intuition is silent where I am slowly becoming a sensor. It’s terrifying and almost all sensors do not understand my frustration. When in isolation, my intuition feels a pull of needing to be with people (sensors) and do what they enjoy to the point where I was looking for jobs that caters towards them. I rarely get alone time now to be alone with my thoughts due to mental health issues, dysfunction families that don’t value my personal time and not seeing the third option of life. I’m really at the point of becoming like a sensor and becoming like my parents, I’m fighting but the calling as if the saying goes, it’s better than nothing plagues me. If I don’t go, my intuition scream but if I go, my intuition tells me I shouldn’t have gone… it confuses me a lot. I spent four months trying to understand my intuition and I now consider it has messed up or that my social circles influence it a lot….
I caught myself of a pattern I formed: I rejected to eat out with sensors, the next day I dash off to attend a street food event (as if to replenish the loss opportunity & rekindle my past self memory), then the following day I apply a restaurant job that also host live music (not suppose to apply there due to it being loud & due to TBI and the body says no due to noise & trauma but the mind says yes due to the need of money) and now risking money to eat out with sensor friends since my intuitive friends are gone and my family doesn’t want to eat out with me… I hope this make sense but if not, I hope your intuition can sense this inner chaos… have I been to therapy? Doing help for concussion/TBI? Yes but turning out to be the wrong kind of providers to help me and it’s becoming harmful… Chose the wrong provider for TBi/concussion that her way of helping me is not wrong but not effective since what she provides, I’ve been doing them previously and is too easy for my brain. Mental health therapist? Was good for the past but now the therapist keeps it on a looping talk than solution or encourage to recognize healthy behavior/thoughts but continue to say, “the brain doesn’t like change… the brain is in this or that…” I fully express that I understand and for me personally, I need change and the brain I have needs change and novelty to help. I need help of ways to navigate this. I can’t stand being in the same place, same room, same situation or even same mindset but am surrounded by people who stays like that, especially parents who keeps forcing me to stay the same and be like them.. it’s hard when I blindly formed a bond with them…” another therapist says, “we’re just listening, we’re just here along the way…” I don’t want anymore coping or comfort but of solution and so forth…
When facing the pain, my mind reset to avoid facing the pain or the unpleasant feelings, I tried very hard to face it but realize, I still struggle to find a safe structure system for my mind to fall back for but also because the environment & people I am stuck with slowly destroys it… I ask my siblings for support but at asked at the wrong time which lead to supporting the wrong situation for support. Ex; I beg them to support me in a novelty trip but all were against me so I didn’t go when. My intuition screamed for me to go but now when traveling with sensor, I don’t want to but my siblings support it and forced me to go. That impacts my intuition… Ah that’s also what I need to ask you! How to re-align timing, right time, right location and right people?
Oh my gosh- I hope this somewhat makes sense…. will end this venting and hope to hear from ya’ll if ya’ll can understand my thoughts. T3T”
Please help my friend Shelly kindly. She is seeking other therapist for her mental and TBI. Trying to make time to spend solitude time with herself and her intuition. Much appreciated!