Just thought this season will get even more interesting if she drinks at her wedding. I just can’t wait to find out. This girls a mess. The irony of wanting an open marriage and requiring Josh to be Lutheran is so insane. That’s her deal breaker 🤣
Throughout my marriage I’ve been emotionally abused. When he hurts me there’s no repair or any accountability. If I bring it up he deflects it back to me with what about you, or apologizes in a mocking way. Over 20 years I’ve become emotionally numb towards him. We have 3 kids together. My eldest (14F) has told me how she doesn’t like him. He tells you how you feel rather than listening and explains things away. My daughter telling me her same feelings as me and same emotional hurt from him absolutely broke me and made me feel this is real, this is happening and it’s hurting my children as well.
I’ve tried to tell him I feel emotionally disconnected to him. He won’t explore that. He gets defensive and tells me I should find somebody else, Maybe you should leave etc. Now I’m ready to. I’m so tired of these circular fights and everything ending up being my fault. I know I’m not perfect and have hurt him, but I’ve always tried to repair that. Now I don’t care if I repair anything with him. Each emotional hurt cuts deeper than ever although, on the surface it seems minor. There’s just been so many of them without resolve. I’m terrified to make this step and not sure how to. He has undiagnosed mental health issues. Possibly OCD, narcissism and childhood trauma that he has never worked through. We tried therapy, but every session was him bashing me which just made me feel how he actually despises me even though when we’ve come close to splitting up he cries his eyes out not wanting us to break up.
He talks to me with complete contempt and disgust and I find myself a shell of myself. I’ve become contemptuous myself from the years of lies, secrecy and entitlement. The home is toxic as hell. What are the next steps? I keep questioning leaving.
I had an iud put in British Columbia 6 years ago. The gynaecologist used lidocaine and lidocaine injection for insertion. It was uncomfortable but wasn’t extremely painful. Fast forward, moved to New Brunswick, no family dr. Needed to use the sexual health clinic. I called to make the appointment and asked if they use freezing. They told me to take ibuprofen prior.
I delayed getting the procedure done because of this and finally decided to just do it and thought the pain probably is in my head and it can’t be that bad. I was horrifyingly wrong. During the procedure I screamed in pain, started to shake and went extremely weak. The other nurse held my hand with tears streaming down my face. I started to sweat badly and almost blacked out. She got me a cool cloth and joked how it breaks you out into a cold sweat. Mind you, I’ve had 3 unmedicated births so have a high pain tolerance. I sat in my car feeling pretty out of it and surprised I made it home.
I filed a complaint with the clinic. They called me back and apologized. The clinic manager did some research and told me they are looking into and starting the process of brining in penthrox. I was so happy to hear they took my complaint seriously and are making this change.