u/Short-Plan-4354

Just as a starter, this comes after some good advice gained from my previous posts.

This if ur interested-> https://www.reddit.com/r/marriageadvice/comments/1ukn58p/comment/ov0j90t/?context=1&screen_view_count=2

I want to start the conversation with my husband that I don't feel heard in our relationship. We both have a problem with interrupting when ppl are talking. I've been trying hard to work on it. But I've talked to other adhd'ers and they also say they have a hard time not interrupting.

But the difference between me and him is that I almost always apologize and then ask him to finish what he was saying. He, however, doesn't apologize and I wind up biting my tongue (quite literally). And I don't think he sees that extra effort from my end.

I also try to start serious conversations with niceness and kindness.

I.e. "I have to talk to you about something serious, but before we start, I love you very much and I'm going to try to stay as calm as possible during this"

It seems like he very VERY rarely ever starts deep conversations and if he does start it, he doesn't seem to start it in the same way.

I don't know how to even start the conversation. I want to tell him how stressed out I am. How I don't feel like his life partner. I moreso feel like "the help" of old. I do the chores. I take care of the dogs and our baby. I almost always have a smile on my face and food to fill his belly. What else can I do?! Idk how to say it respectfully. So if I could get some help trying to find a way to say it that'd be great.

Tl;dr : I need help trying to find a respectful way to tell my husband how I'm feeling without him feeling attacked or made to feel less than.

Hi, sorry if this post is not worded right, this is one of my first posts ever. So I've been together with my husband since 2023, we got married the day before v-day this year. We got married partially because I became pregnant, but also because we love each other.

I haven't had much difficulty with communication with anyone I've met, but he seems to think that I have an attitude quite often. P much every time I try to have a calm adult conversation to resolve any problems we may have, he blows up at me and makes me feel like I'm useless and don't know how to talk or think or do practically anything.

Idk what I can do....my daughter is almost 6months old and I don't want to be a single mom but I'm having a really hard time thinking of any other solutions.... My heart hurts typing this. I can't believe this is where I'm at.... I was so happy when he proposed but now I feel like he thinks I'm just a waste of space... Please, any advice is welcome.

When I bring up my feelings, I don't feel reassurance, or support. He gives me almost nothing. Sometimes he'll come back a while after an argument and apologize, but usually I'M the one to apologize first.

small addition: we are currently living in a trailer on the side of my mom and Dad's house with me, husband, daughter, and 2 dogs. we didn't plan the baby, and neither of us have scheduled jobs. I'm completely unemployed.

as a response to one of the previous comments I've gotten:

As an example, we had to go to the DSHS office to get food stamps as a family set up. My mom had noticed before we left that our baby was tired. We got to the office and she hadn't fallen asleep yet. The office was bright and full of other families with other children. You can imagine the sound. He wanted to hold her so I helped her get in his arms. (He has back issues so he can't do the whole constant movement thing for baby) I mentioned to him that she was tied before we left the house. He said "okay? Does she NEED to go to sleep?" I left it alone and let him hold her for a bit longer, but then she started to cry and it was obvious to me that she was saying she wanted to go to sleep. I told him "she's telling you she needs to sleep" and he was like "but it's it required that she falls asleep?" And kept arguing with me. He finally gave me the baby and I started to try to put her to sleep and he -very rudely- said "well you got what you wanted. You have her now. " Like-WHAT?!

Tldr; when I try to give suggestions or have a calm adult conversation with my husband, he makes me feel little and like I don't know anything. Pls help.