u/SicilianMeeple

Once again, I missed the opportunity to attend Play - Bologna, a big board gaming event in Italy. In part, I neglected completely to check tickets, flight, accomodation, in part I had some scheduling conflicts at work.

The 'strange' thing is, when I realized it was too late to schedule the trip, I felt relieved.

Despite I should be used to attend big events (I go to Etna Comics every year with no hesitation), I felt I was a bit nervous at the idea of going to Bologna.

This reminded me when, before I got into the hobby, I was very reluctant to go to game nights due to social anxiety.

This caught me by surprise, I didn't expect it at all but in the long run, I understand why it happened. My social anxiety didn't vanish once I got acquainted with playing board games with other people, the trigger changed or, rather, my tolerance increased, maybe.

A big, structured, crowded event is still giving me some anxiety. The Etna Comics is different, it's relatively nearby, it's not focused on board games (most of the times it's just me, my kid and my wife who sit at table to try some new games), and it's something that involves me a bit less, as my family goes there for our daughter (she's 10, and loves manga, anime, board games, and Lorcana).

Are you affected by social anxiety? How do you cope with it? In my case, I tend to play with people I know, gradually introducing 1-2 newcomers at a time.

I am in the middle of a negotiation with myself: I should have a second cull of my collection but this time it is much harder than the first.

Some time ago, I sold a bunch of games I don’t like or play anymore. It’s been easier than I expected as they were all games that have been sitting unplayed for a while.

Now the story is different: I would like to separate the good games from the great ones and reduce the collection to a manageable count of games I tend to come back to frequently.

94 base boxes, not counting the expansions are too much for me to handle: I can’t force my group to learn a new game every week and I want to feel less pressure from the shelves.

May sound silly but this is something affecting me quite much, I don’t want to end with an extremely large backlog as I have for video games.

I am still trying to figure out criteria to avoid any possible regret in the future.

Are you culling your collection too? Did you do it in the past? What are or were your criteria? Do you regret letting any games go?

How much does board gaming impact on your mental health?

I'v been in the hobby for almost six years now (not counting the occasional incursions in the board games world when I was younger, you know... Risk, Monopoly or Scotland Yard with the family), and what I've been through is quite much during this time.

I've always been affected by social anxiety and dysthymia, and for a long time I've declined any invitation to join gaming groups. To give you some context, I've been very anxious to play even multiplayer video games.

Growing old, something changed, especially after the lockdowns: I felt a very strong need to socialize, be around my friends and find a healthier version of myself.

Board games had a significantly positive impact on me: not only they allowed my daughter and I to spend some memorabile times together, helping her with the first maths efforts as a preschooler, and strategical thinking now she's going to attend middle school, but also they helped me reconnect with people I've missed for years.

This is particularly significant, considering that I live in the middle of Sicily, not exactly a place where you can find a lot of social and cultural activities around (the nearest board gaming association is 100+ kilometers away).

Board games really helped me. Can't say the same for digital implementations like BGA or in-app multiplayer modes. Playing with complete strangers made me feel uncomfortable. Losing became a personal issue. In short, I've ditched the digital multi, leaving room for some occasional single player game, like when I wait for my flight or stuff like that (Concordia, Scythe, Lords of Waterdeep, and Race for the Galaxy are my go-to digital apps).

This can sound weird but, as a matter of fact, I realized that physical board games positively help my mental health, while digital games do the opposite - and this is the same reason why I quit playing video games.

After 8+ hours working with a computer, moving meeples, chucking dice, and tilting minis have some soothing effect on me, and I am glad I found this hobby in my life.

I've even stopped following the cult of the new, and became almost totally impermeable to FOMO. This year I am in a 'no-new-boardgames' challenge, and even culled part of my collection: I want this hobby to be positive, clean, and not pressuring me. And it's working fine.

Sorry for the wall of text...