u/Sidewards_Window

She (I'll call her H from now on) was pretty much my first ever real love, but I can't say we were fated to last long. Fuck, the first time I met her I playfully threatened to harm her (in hindsight, terrible terrible action, I am aware) and then we went on forwards. The both times we were together I ended it. The first time, when we were only together for about 2 weeks. I ended it because honestly I was scared. We were nice, in all honesty, but I suppose I was too cowardly for her passion. So we broke up for about a month then got back together where we went a bit steadier. We weren't perfect. I was insecure and I never really fully took responsibility for her. I tried my best really, but there was a constant fear that I had of being replaced. So I often retreated from affection, reasoning that I just didn't want to be attached when she finally left me. The worse thing is that I wasn't even consistent. There were days where I feel like I'm enough for her, and I'm able to provide her the affection she wanted and receive hers, others I just shut down. And as much as I feel like a hypocrite for saying this, I wasn't exactly fond of her all the time. She'd constantly talk about other guys she found hot, and compares me to fictional men (that are really questionable, considering they always cross the line of consent, like Zade Meadows and some others) which made me insecure. Then we broke up when my parents found out, and though I could've easily made it work one way or another, I didn't. I told her I just didn't feel like being with her anymore, which was a lie. And I told her that teenage love wasn't that deep (which might also be a lie??) So that's the long and short of it. I found out she's talking to another guy (who, from what I know, talks to other girls all the time) and I don't feel like I should really warn her, considering I've hurt her so many times.

I miss her, but I don't wann hurt her again. What should I do?