u/Significant_Talk_642

I finally ripped the bandaid off and went to my university placement without hijab for the first time. I had just gotten my hair straightened at the salon and had a trim, and honestly, I loved having it off. I felt so confident, free and comfortable, and I really don’t want to go back to wearing it. It was the first time really existing to people without my hijab on..but I had my head held high since I first started with hijab.

But now I’m panicking about what will happen when my hair goes back to its natural curly state. I never really understood my hair before, but after speaking to a stylist, I realised that it’s actually fine and low-density 4B hair. I don’t have an issue with my curls themselves; it’s just that because my hair is naturally fine and sparse, everything is more obvious. It gets matted and frizzy, looks thin, and the shrinkage is insane. And I genuinely have no clue on how to style make myself look put together, I have watched some tutorials but these women have thickness and length etc .

I’ve been in denial about this for a long time and constantly wish I had more volume, length and density. I’m scared that once my hair reverts, I’ll lose the confidence I felt and start questioning whether taking my hijab off was a mistake. I genuinely felt free and comfortable without it, and I don’t want to go back to wearing it, but I’m worried my hair will make me feel like I have no choice.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you manage fine, low-density 4B hair when its natural thinness makes matting, frizz and sparse areas more noticeable? I’d really appreciate honest advice❤️❤️
Right now my hair is straight but it will go back to being curly soon 🥹😭

Honestly girls I have really tried so hard to take it off but I am so uncomfortable with my body and hair. I have so much insecurities surrounding them… I thought this would be an easy journey since I don’t want to have a head covering on my head but I have worn it my whole life over 20 years now. And I honestly don’t know why I can’t just take it off I’ve tried glowing up and then taking it off but I still fall into my bad habits … e.g. overeating etc since i can hide behind my abaya always and lots of bad hair days.. i am not blaming the hijab for my laziness but i did become quite uninterested in anything to do with looking pretty since I was even a teenage( didn’t even bother learning makeup and i am in my mid twenties now)..

I do really feel disconnected from my feminine in general since I’ve always been so insecure and the hijab has made me feel even more ugly although ironically i feel ugly without it too…

My question is what should i do.. I am wasting my young years hiding and being ashamed of myself? Should I just accept defeat atp?

Would appreciate any advice.