r/XSomalian

i was too scared someone would see me w/o it on so I had to be put through a very awkward encounter with the shopkeeper at the counter.

I may be a dumbass.

I am a 20 year old ex Muslim girl , currently living in Norway. I grew up in Somalia but left the country at 13. yrs old.
I want to find a partner but i don’t want to date ajanabis because of cultural differences.
Is there any dating advice?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

took off my hijab in january this year and i've been dressing more freely compared to before fr like crop tops and tshirts and tanktops, but it's been really weird trying to wear shorts or even midi skirts or capris😭 how does one transition to that, and how long did it take to not feel like a sharmuto, especially when u don't care what other women wear at allll??

It is for maryan jaamac. The man sells alcohol and cannabis paraphernalia.

The shopkeeper said he knows I am Somali. I told him I am. He then proceeds to ask for my ID. I show him it because, obviously as a 34-year-old, I have my ID on me at all times. He then tells me to “stay away from it” . I told him that he cannot say anything as he sells it.

I genuinely think he thought I was Muslim so he could give me unsolicited advice. This is one of the downsides of collectivist culture .

Like how about you take the alcohol down from your shelves. It is way more harmful than maryan jamaac.

Probably because I am female too!

Doqon!

I am an ex Muslim and I grew up in Somalia until I was 13.
I was never religious like my sisters. I always struggled to pray but I believed in Islam.my parents were and are very religious.
I feel majority of Somali ex Muslims are born in the west and didn’t have a lot of knowledge when it comes to Islam .

Sorry English is not my first language!!

however am unable to leave even-though I want to and need to. I’m 27. Living at home with my mom who s-harasses me (yes I mean S-harasses me, my own mother) after I told her I’m not Muslim. (Please don’t tell your Famliy, learn from me, some of them will want to make you crazy or WORSE). Anyway the fear that I have of the unknown is big that I can’t. My biggest fears are homelessness, loneliness, being cut off from my siblings and extended family. Having no community. I also grew up my whole life in a very abusive household from childhood, I was emotionally neglected and don’t have many life skill although I’ve gotten better with the life skills lately in the last few years, work helped a lot. I also have a lot of what feels like executive dysfunction. I do not trust myself to be able to take care of myself so I stay under my mom’s toxic roof than no roof. I also worry about not being able to pay rent or having to starve or losing a job and not being able to find another. I see a lot of people on tiktok move out cut their family off and trust themselves to take care of themselves. Maybe if I had a degree I’d feel more confident? (I also have no capacity currently to study I’m barely still keeping my agency job). Also I’m terrible at interviews and all the stuff needed for a job so I don’t trust myself job finding skills either. I’m really at the bottom. I will say however I am strong because for the last year I’ve still kept my job despite my mom’s psychologically torturing behaviour. I am nice to my coworkers, I laugh with them sometimes, it makes me feel better talking to them. They don’t know how much I lean on them emotionally and psychologically. (Some of them are toxic but idc at this point! Any distraction is good enough!). Losing my job would finish me. Some of them think my life is great because ‘I have a Famliy and live with them’ whereas they had to come to this country all alone. If only they knew right. Wouldn’t really call it a home although my bedroom feels like home and my siblings and sometimes the house when she’s gone. Anyway I admire my co workers who came from other countries all alone and make a life here. One of my co workers said something to me the other day about having to skip meals, I couldn’t believe it. It made me think I should be grateful to be living at home but i really don’t like it here. Sometimes when im really struggling I tell myself in the olden times people probably had it as hard as I do if not harder and they still lived so maybe we humans are stronger than we think and maybe I’m stronger than I think 😭 Leave me comments please, Reddit won’t let me receive messages till I do age verification (dw I’m 27).

Why do some Somalis still refuse to marry Jareerweyne clan ?

Why do some Somalis still refuse to marry Jareerweyne clan ?

I want to raise a sensitive question about Somali society, especially for Somalis themselves.

Somalis share the same language, religion, culture, and national identity. Yet there are still communities in Somalia that face social discrimination because of their ancestry or perceived social status.

One example is the attitude toward Jareerweyne. In some Somali communities, people openly say things like “isma geyno” — meaning that they do not consider marriage with Jareerweyne acceptable.

My question is: Where did this idea come from, and why does it still exist today?

If two people are both Somali, Muslim, and willing to marry each other, why should their family background or clan/social origin determine whether they are considered “suitable” for marriage?

I understand that Somali clan structures and marriage traditions have existed for generations, and there are historical reasons behind many of these practices. But should a tradition automatically be considered right simply because it is old?

From an Islamic perspective, social status, ancestry, and wealth should not make one Muslim inherently superior to another. And from a modern human-rights perspective, judging someone's worth or marriage eligibility based solely on ancestry can be seen as discrimination.

I am not asking this question to attack all Somalis or any particular clan. I am genuinely interested in understanding the history and psychology behind this practice.

For Somalis and non-Somalis here:

Why do some Somali families still reject marriage with Jareerweyne?

Is this mainly a religious issue, a clan issue, a historical issue, or simply a social tradition?

Where did the idea of “isma geyno” originate?

Do younger Somalis today still believe in it?

Can Somali society move beyond these inherited social divisions?

I would especially appreciate historical perspectives and personal experiences, rather than insults or attacks against any group.

Hi I’m a 28 year old Somali girl from Sweden who recently left Islam.

I told my cousin who I trusted and she basically scared me away from telling anyone including my mom, and wrote me off as someone who’s searching and I just needed to study Islam more. Which left me choked cuz homgurl lives a non halal life with her ajnabi boyfriend.

That experience made me even more scared as it confirmed my worst fears, and destroyed the confidence I’ve been building up over the years. I know I can’t continue living a lie but I’m also too scared to live my truth because of the consequences of being left behind by my own blood. And having no country to claim.

Anyways are there any Somali girls that can relate and interested in becoming friends, because this experience is so isolating.

So I’m 20 moved like 2 months ago after a big fight at home to my friend didn’t tell my family until I was already there for a day. Came back after a week and suddenly everyone is nice or at least don’t bother me at all about me not wearing hijab even or that I’m home late or ask where I’ve been as long as I come home at some point. Weird lmao. Anyone experience this?

I would love to meet with ex muslim somalis but the idea of meeting up with someone from reddit is extremely scary. Especially the fact that Im outing myself as a ex muslim.

I’ve seen posts in the past where people have asking to make friends but I’m wondering has there been any success stories of making friends from this reddit even getting the courage to see them irl?

i wanna rant so basically my dad and mom called me down to have a chat my crazy dad had a dream he was going to hell because of me 😭 and started questioning me he basically says if I ever leave Islam I won’t be his child and my family will move away without me and cut contact. I have a personality where i argue back and i say that Hadiths are weird and how Mohamed the pedo had sex slaves and expained to my adult parents how mohhamed having sex slaves is like him raping them which it is rape and my parents tell me it’s okay because Allah allowed him to. Im disturbed because my dad has 4 daughters and 8 granddaughters so that kind of thinking and logic is so gross. then a few hours after he hugs me and says he loves me how can you say that after saying you would not love me if I left Islam (my family thinks I’m Muslim i do a good job of hiding I pray read the Quran fast wear abayas and hijabs).

before I left Islam id argue with my dad about Hadiths and so he called me a kaffir that’s why he is having dreams about me leaving Islam and him going to hell because of that. I actually read the Quran English version and the Hadiths and Quran are almost the same when it comes to the rules like in the Quran Surah Al nisa it talks about how men are rulers of women and women should be obident. also talks about women slaves (what your right hand possesses) and how husbands can hit their wives. the whole 4 wives thing inheritance laws. so I went from a Quranlist to an anti-atheist because I hate religion and I believe all religions are corrupt.

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I’m going to university soon, but I’m still forced to wear hijab because of my very strict parents. They’re extremely controlling about clothing even a full cardigan with wide leg jeans is considered immodest. Now my dad wants me to wear an abaya too.
He follows me to the bus and checks the area for men, and I feel like I have absolutely no body autonomy. He hasn’t hit me in years, but he used to when I was younger, and he’s verbally abusive, so I’m genuinely scared that pushing back could make things worse.
Maybe this sounds dramatic, but it’s seriously affecting my mental health. I don’t even want to wear revealing clothes I just want to choose my own clothes and live normally like other girls my age. I feel completely trapped. If you’ve been in a similar situation please tell me how you overcame it :(

Some times I think how developed Somalia could been without islam intervention and I can't help but resent those men who bought islam to Somalia