u/SilentChipmunk9786

How do you guys regulate yourself in the moment when something triggers you, especially in a relationship?

For me (37F) sometimes crying feels almost automatic. Like something happens, I feel disappointed, misunderstood or just under some pressure, and I can literally feel it building inside me and then the tears just come 😂...and once that starts sometimes my thoughts start spiralling with it as well.

I know ideally you can take some space, go for a walk, calm down etc, but I'm more wondering what do you actually do when you're there with the person and don't really have a chance to just remove yourself from the situation.

I'm not trying to stop myself from crying or supress how I feel, I just want to learn how to catch it earlier and not feel like my body just takes over everytime...

Sometimes I feel like crying is my body's answer to basically every strong emotion 😂

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice from people who have been through breast reconstruction.

I (37F) was diagnosed with breast cancer at 29 and had a right skin-sparing mastectomy with immediate implant reconstruction in August 2018. I didn't need chemotherapy or radiotherapy, only Tamoxifen, and I was offered the possibility of a delayed DIEP flap in the future, but at the time I was happy with my implant reconstruction.

Now it's been 8 years, and I'm finding that I'm becoming increasingly unhappy with the result.

The reconstructed breast isn't painful and feels normal, but compared with my natural breast I feel that:

- it sits higher,

- it projects around 1–2 cm less,

- it looks slightly smaller,

- it has a different shape,

- it wrinkles/ripples when I lie down,

- many bras gap over the reconstructed breast, leaving empty space and sometimes creating a visible dip under clothing.

In a bikini I actually think it looks okay because the support helps, but when I'm naked (especially with my partner) I become very aware of the asymmetry and it affects my confidence, I'm already missing a nipple, I had it tattooed.

Looking back at my early post-op photos, I think the reconstruction itself has stayed fairly similar, but my natural breast has changed over the last 8 years, so the difference between them has become much more noticeable.

I feel guilty even asking because I keep wondering whether I'm just being vain. At the same time, this reconstruction was part of my cancer treatment, and I wonder if it's reasonable to ask to be referred back to a reconstructive breast surgeon.

Has anyone had revision surgery many years after their original implant reconstruction?

- Were you referred through your GP?

- What options were you offered (fat grafting, implant exchange, balancing surgery, DIEP, etc.)?

- Did revision surgery improve your confidence and symmetry?

- If you're in the UK, was it funded by the NHS?

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences.

Thank you ❤️