u/Silver-Ad6605

Inheriting Pension

Hi Everyone,

I am in a bit of a pickle and was wondering if anyone has any advice or just general comments.

My aunt passed away in April 2026, she has a husband who has dementia and is blind and has been living in a care home for many years. The issue is that the husband has physically, emotionally and mentally abused her through their marriage which is almost 20 years. She was very old school and wanted to be a good wife but they did not want a divorce because the husband is catholic and did not believe in one. They had no children. In her will, she does not leave anything for him but writes a letter in which is explicitly states that she has not left him anything because he was so abusive.

The problem now is that she has a teachers pension which we have been told has to go to him because he was her spouse. This is government policy not the company policy. Also he now gets her state pension. We don't know if there is anything we can do because it is government policy that the spouse gets the pension but she did not want him to benefit from her death at all.

Also, the teachers pension people said after we provide the marriage certificate then we will need to provide his bank details but if we don't nothing gets paid out to him. Obviously because of everything he put her through, i don't want to give his bank details but i also know that she worked really hard in her career and had to leave early due to her health. It feels like wasted money.

Has anyone been through something similar or has advise? We realise that we might have to give up on this one but thought i would check reddit just in case.

reddit.com
u/Silver-Ad6605 — 3 days ago

Inheriting Pension

Hi Everyone,

I am in a bit of a pickle and was wondering if anyone has any advice or just general comments. We are in the UK for context

My aunt passed away in April 2026, she has a husband who has dementia and is blind and has been living in a care home for many years. The issue is that the husband has physically, emotionally and mentally abused her through their marriage which is almost 20 years. She was very old school and wanted to be a good wife but they did not want a divorce because the husband is catholic and did not believe in one. They had no children. In her will, she does not leave anything for me but writes a letter in which is explicitly states that she has not left him anything because he was so abusive.

The problem now is that she has a teachers pension which we have been told has to go to him because he was her spouse. This is government policy not the company policy. Also he now gets her state pension. We don't know if there is anything we can do because it is government policy that the spouse gets the pension but she did not want him to benefit from her death at all.

Also, the teachers pension people said after we provide the marriage certificate then we will need to provide his bank details but if we don't nothing gets paid out to him. Obviously because of everything he put her through, i don't want to give his bank details but i also know that she worked really hard in her career and had to leave early due to her health. It feels like wasted money.

Has anyone been through something similar or has advise? We realise that we might have to give up on this one but thought i would check reddit just in case.

reddit.com
u/Silver-Ad6605 — 3 days ago