u/SilverSusan13

One thing that's happened for me recently is that I realized that I don't need to ENDURE much of anything. Old me never felt like I had a choice, felt like everything was a mandate & I just needed to go along with it.

I'm not sure what clicked but now I realize how much more choice I have in my life experiences. IE my commute sucks. Old me just kind of grin and bear it. New me knows that I do have choices: I can get a new job, I can move, I can figure something out that works better for me.

I also realize that no one needs to endure me, that some relationships ended because people didn't enjoy me (in part because I didn't enjoy myself). Not a fun realization, but a good realization. So now I'm working on trying to make choices that make me happier, and actually enjoy my life. I truly never saw that as an option before & wasn't sure where to post it.

I was curious if others had the same moment of realizing that you don't need to ENDURE? That any past survival mechanism was just that: survival. Super eye-opening to me after a lifetime of endurance. I finally understand what they mean by thriving vs surviving, even if I don't always feel like I'm thriving, I can finally sense the difference & that feels like a step in the right direction.

I am menopausal, started HRT in January. Felt emotionally dead inside, and notice I feel better emotionally since starting. Less dead, but not quite alive. My prescribing dr told me that the patch could have an impact on my hot flashes, but any continuing depression probably requires SSRI's, that HRT won't reduce depression. I think her words were to "not expect any more improvement beyond the hot flashes".

The good news is that she's upping my dose per my request to .0375 from .025. I told her that I'd check it out & if my depression is still bad then I'll consider SSRIs.

Curious to get feedback here: I feel like a lot of the positive reviews with HRT focus not only on hot flashes, but also on the emotional side/mood improvements. Did you see mood improvements as well?

On a side note, this surprised me. My prescribing dr is at a Womens Health Clinic that's supposed to be menopause-friendly. and she definitely was in terms of her willingness to prescribe & up my dose. She also prescribed me a vaginal ring & will prescribe testosterone once i get my current levels tested. I was just surprised to hear her say "expect no improvement" when it feels like mood improvement is one of the most hoped-for results from HRT. Thanks in advance!

I started .025 Estradiol & 100 mg progesterone in January. I'm 53, and appx 18 months into menopause.

lately I'm noticing more fatigue & muscle soreness in my forearms, every day I feel like I've been doing yardwork. I was hoping for the "I feel great!" but we aren't there yet. the hot flashes have diminished & im sleeping well, but my mood is worse, depression is worse & fatigue has been brutal. I exercise daily (a few miles of walking daily & strenth training 2 or 3x a week).

just wondering if others relate? I'm tempted to just stop taking it but trying to get into a doctor visit sooner than later. I don't often go to the doctor so kind of picked a random women's clinic for my first go round.

edit to say: this is my first post here. Also a) I'm a survivor so if anyone has any ptsd specific advice, I'd appreciate that too. I'm frustrated bevayse I went through trauma therapy, EMDR, years of drug and alcohol abuse, and now this? I fought so hard to get healthy & it doesn't feel real to me that I feel so shitty just based on my internal stuff. It feels like menopause is trying to take everything trauma hasn't, and it's knocking me on my butt in so many ways. Grateful for communities like these, I haven't known how to articulate any of this.

The biggest lightbulb moment for me lately? Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Not all the time obviously, because stressful/unenjoyable things come up all the time. But in our free time? We don't need to endure.

Growing up with abusive parents, I didn't know for a long time that enjoying life was possible. Or that I didn't have to keep spending time with people who were toxic/mean/unkind. Hell, I was just grateful whenever I've had anyone who seemed like they wanted to be around me, so I would take whatever treatment they were handing out, I just developed a thick skin and and the immediate excuse of "they didn't mean that" or "they're going through a hard time" - anything to let them off the hook for being jerks. Sometimes that's true, we all have bad days, but patterns of shittiness? No thank you, not anymore.

I'm 52, and I FINALLY understand that we are not here to endure the bullshit of other people, to just suck it up and take it. If I had known this years ago, I would have removed myself from a lot of fucked up situations. We deserve kindness, we deserve fun, and connection. All of those things are more easily said than automatically obtained, but it's true. I'm here to enjoy my time & the people in my life. It'll take some work, but that's my goal. I hope you are able to do that as well.