My enjoyment of the hobby is suffering
Hi everyone,
I’ve been struggling with a problem for quite some time and would love to hear about others' experiences regarding this. The issue is that I’m in danger of losing the joy I once found in this beloved hobby.
Tabletop RPGs have been a part of my life since childhood; for nearly 30 years, I’ve explored and enjoyed fantasy, sci-fi, and horror settings. I collect numerous rulebooks and have run many campaigns and one-shots across various systems. Occasionally, I join a table as a player, too (not as often as I did as a teenager).
Currently, I run games once or twice a week.
My players are mostly longtime friends - wonderful, creative people whom I deeply value.
And yet, the thought of having to prepare for the next session makes me want to scream. Before every game night, I pace back and forth, fighting against a sense of reluctance, feeling completely overwhelmed and unmotivated. I feel pressured, and if I fall behind on prep, I feel like a total failure.
I used to love it when my players wanted to know something or work on details between sessions. Now, however, I feel overwhelmed by the need to be "on call" for them.
I do have fun while actually playing, since my players are great people and we laugh a lot. But I’m not truly engaged. I find myself scrolling through Reddit or BlueSky on the side, and I’m just relieved when the session is over.
I’ve tried to push through it. I’ve adopted different preparation strategies. I’ve openly asked my inner circle for ideas. I’m also trying to find a few games where I can be a player, though that hasn’t worked out yet.
My interest in new books/campaigns remains undiminished.
Now, I’m going to take a two-month break and hope things improve afterward.
Have any of you experienced something like this? If so, how did you handle it?
Thanks a lot!