u/SimonLight1234

So this is gonna be a long one, my parents constantly blame me for how they treated me saying I was a disrespectful child and that this was the way to fix it, it was back when I was 4 it started, I was shown to do the Dishes and how to clean my parents and my own laundry and sweeping and mopping and that they would now become daily chores, well if I messed them up or didn't fold the clothing to my mother's liking I'd get beat with a belt, and I didn't know what I was doing wrong, then when I turned 5 I had said shut up to an uncle of mine to which my mother became furious and demanded we go home, when we did she had picked me up and swung my head into the side of the wooden bunk bed me and my brother shared, she was arrested and sentenced to a week cause she took a plea deal, she blamed me for it saying it wouldn't have happened if I was a good kid. After that whenever I'd get home from school she would toss me into my room and lock the door, I wasn't allowed to eat, drink or do anything, it got to the point where there was an ammonia stain in the room cause she refused to let me use the bathroom too. Then when she'd tuck my brother in to bed she'd say love you to him and not to me even when Id say it to her. I felt like I was doing something wrong so I got mentioned in a newspaper because I scored high on a test than any other kid did and I made her a clay bowl in art class, she told me that she expects me to do good in school anyways so its not special and she said my bowl looked like an ashtray. But when my siblings did good or had really good scores she'd praise them, I ended up getting upset that they had things I didn't and so I started hitting my siblings for it and in turn my mother beat me, made me run laps around the house( I'm a severe asthmatic) until I couldn't breathe. She kept doing it over and over till I ended up get sent to therapy where they said I'm ODD and that it means I'm a kid who just refuses to listen to adults and so my mother took everything, no games, no toys, no books, nothing. For about 13 years after school It just be me sitting in my room with me, bed, and clothes, I ended up just making stuff up in my head to pass time. Eventually I started crying about it because it wasn't fair and I was told that I need to man up and that I shouldn't cry, me and mother constantly got into screaming matches with each other and she always just simply threw me onto the ground and called me a disappointment. My great aunt was usually my escape when we'd go see her, we'd watch TV and play games and take us places, my mom told me when I was around 15 that my aunt no longer loved me because she realized I was also just a bad kid, and it broke me, I got a really hard feeling with my heart and I broke down in my room. Then when I was 16 I got a job and finally bought a phone, to which my mother immediately took it from me saying that I didn't deserve it and it ended up into one of our screaming matches and she ended it with telling me that I was nothing more than trash to her, and that she wasted her time raising me and wish she had aborted me when she had the chance. And I looked to my Father and all he did was say its just not worth arguing with her. I.. attempted later than night but didn't because of my aunt and then was I was finally 18 my mother had the brightest smile on her face and at 8 am on my 18th birthday tossed a suitcase at me and said get tf out of her house. And now as I'm 23 I don't feel happy, I honestly haven't been really happy in forever, all I can do is cry and fake the smile. And my aunt committed and my mother blamed that on me too, she said that all she did while raising me was teaching me responsibility and respect, and to this day my mother has still never said shes loved me.

Was I really just a bad kid, I dont really know if that's normal or not to raise a kid like that, but I just wanna know if she was right.