u/SimpleBeginning3439

This is mostly me venting/looking for reassurance and validation I guess. I love animals and have had many animal oriented jobs over the years and have been pet sitting on and off since I was probably 15 (I’m almost 30). I’m usually a very patient person but like any other human, I have a limit.

I’m feeling really guilty over a pet stay I had a few weeks ago. I was taking care of a puppy that’s a large breed (over 80 lbs). She had done training before and puppy boot camp and all that but is still learning her manners and obviously has a lot of energy.

As y’all know I’m sure, puppies usually have those bursts of energy, nap for a few hours, and then maybe get a second but shorter wind later on. This dog was non stop. She would be clearly very very tired and then still going at a million miles an hour.

I took her on long walks, played with her and her toys, gave her kongs with PB and she would still be in crazy mode for hours and bouncing around and flinging her toys all over the place (and at me). She was constantly antagonizing her kitty siblings too. I did put her in her crate now and then to give her a bit of a forced rest.

I reached a point where I was just very frustrated because there wasn’t much of a reprieve from the constant energy and her being a nut, regardless of what I did. I didn’t want to just keep her in the crate for hours. After doing all the above things, I would try to ignore her for a bit and it just made things worse. Constant whining, pawing, throwing her toys all over the place and me, zooming around on the couch (she is allowed on the furniture).

I’m just feeling guilty and like a horrid pet sitter because I feel like I spent most of the stay being frustrated/being firm/scolding her and not a ton of time giving her affection and love. I did still give her pets and belly rubs and tell her she was a good girl when she was being calm and gave her treats. I regret scolding her so much, I feel so horrible about it. I was just feeling very frustrated and was out of patience.

I genuinely feel so guilty weeks later and like texting the owner but idk if that’s really a great idea. I guess I just have to move past it and use it as a learning experience and probably just not stay with this dog anymore?

Would appreciate any thoughts anyone has.

Hi everyone! I am a 29-year-old woman, and I just recently started learning about Inattentive ADHD and felt SO seen. I was literally like... is this me?! I haven't been officially tested or diagnosed yet, but it is on the horizon. I wanted to share my experiences to see if anyone else relates.

*Full disclosure:* It took me literally 2 + hours to organize half of this! Honestly, there was just so much in my head and I couldn't arrange it all in the way I wanted to, so I asked ChatGPT to help me organize it. I absolutely HATE doing that. I want to be able to organize and articulate everything I want to say on my own, but most of the time it feels completely impossible to do. Please don’t come for me for using chat gpt lol.

Here is what is going on in my head…

30 Tabs Open:

-At any given moment, it feels like I have 30 tabs open in my head and a million thoughts running at once. Because of this, I really struggle to organize my thoughts when speaking. I can be deeply knowledgeable about a topic, but when I try to verbalize it or tell a story, my brain struggles to organize the data and I can't articulate what’s actually in my head.

Over-explaining:

\-Because I struggle so hard to put my thoughts together in the moment, I tend to overexplain literally everything. It’s like I have to give every single piece of context just to make sure my point actually gets across. Writing or typing is usually easier for me because I can edit and move things around in real time, but even then, organizing the initial thoughts is often a massive hurdle.

School, Hyperfocus, and "All-or-Nothing":

-Realistically, I know I’m not stupid. I do very well on tests and assignments in school, but the effort behind it is exhausting. I often have to read material over and over and over again before I actually grasp what it’s saying. I force myself to study intensely to get things to stick.

-Even though I get great grades on papers, it takes me an astronomical amount of time to write them. A simple 3-5 page paper will easily take me 5+ hours. If it's a heavy research paper, it takes literally 8-10 hours and sometimes longer. It takes me a million years just to organize the research, process the data, and then figure out how to arrange my own thoughts on the page.

-I get incredibly invested in video games, painting, or research topics (usually psychology or true crime). When I’m in the zone, I will literally feel hungry or need to pee and just continuously put it off because I don't want to break focus.

-I struggle to return to tasks once I stop. I always want to finish a project in one single session, even when it’s completely unrealistic. I also have a habit of starting 5 different things at once and then I get completely overwhelmed.

The Upside tho?:

-Because subjects like psychology and true crime are highly stimulating to me, I am amazing at picking up small details, connecting dots, and tracking behavioral patterns.

Overcompensating for Time Blindness & Working Memory:

-I always completely underestimate how long assignments take, and I tend to put off tasks that require a lot of mental effort.

-I have to add appointments to my phone calendar the exact second they are made and check it daily, otherwise they cease to exist.

-I get to appointments or school incredibly early because if I don't, I will spend the whole day anxiously staring at the clock, terrified of being late.

-I often walk into a room for something and completely forget what I went in there for.

- I literally cannot retain information that is given to me verbally. Everything has to be written down for me. Even when it *is* written down, I find myself having to refer back to the paper or my notes a bunch of times, even if the instructions are incredibly simple.

Cognitive Overload, Brain Freezes, and "Glitches":

-I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and major depressive disorder. Thanks to a lot of therapy, medication, and self-work over the past year, my daily anxiety is minimal now and I no longer suffer from depression. On a good day, I laugh off my absentmindedness; on a bad day, it makes me feel insecure and like an idiot.

-Before doing all that internal work, I was incredibly hyper-vigilant and still am sometimes to a point (but it’s to a much lesser degree). Receiving any sort of criticism felt like the absolute worst thing in the world—it would completely ruin my entire week. If I made a mistake or had an absentminded moment, it felt catastrophic, and I would agonize and ruminate over it for days feeling like an idiot and would go on a massive shame spiral. Even though my overall anxiety is low today, my brain still enters "cognitive overload" in certain environments, deletes information I *know*, and just freezes…

Some Recent Examples:

-Just being one-on-one with a cashier makes me nervous and sweaty. If I’m in a small store, I will literally forget the specific brands of things I’m there to get. Like the other day, I went to the store specifically to buy my boyfriend "Premiere" brand tobacco. I repeated it to myself, walked in, saw a bag that said "Premium," my brain registered it as correct, and I bought entirely the wrong things despite knowing exactly what I needed 5 minutes prior. This sort of thing happens all the time.

-My boyfriend (bless his heart) also asked me to help find his cigarette roller that was in one of three storage boxes we have in my basement. I had literally never seen one before in my life. I spent two hours pulling everything out of these boxes and couldn't find it anywhere. I distinctly remember seeing a black box with a metal crank on it, but my brain went, “Oh, that looks like a mini pasta maker, that’s definitely not it," and I moved on. A couple of days later, I was looking through the exact same box for something else, picked up the "pasta maker," really looked at it, and saw it literally had "CIGARETTE ROLLER" printed right on the side. I laughed so hard I almost fell to the floor, but it's terrifying how my brain just completely blocked out what was right in front of my face.

-While pet-sitting, I needed a house key on me at all times because the door locks automatically behind you. Before walking out, I literally said to myself, "Yup, got my wallet, car keys, water, and house key." I said it out loud *before actually checking*. I walked out, locked the door, got in my car, and realized the key was still on the kitchen table. I do this sort of thing all the time!

High Emotional Intelligence, Fidgeting, & Restlessness:

-I am extremely emotionally intelligent and highly attuned to the people around me. I pay incredibly close attention to little things, people's vibes, and subtle shifts in my environment and will \*not\* forget those things I’ve observed.

-During school lectures or times I need to focus, it is incredibly hard to just sit still, so I am constantly doodling, playing with my pen, or picking at my nails.

- I physically cannot watch a TV show or movie alone because I’m unable to sit still and focus on it. I will literally only watch something if I am with another person. Having someone else there acts like an anchor that forces me to sit down and actually focus on the screen.

My questions for you all:

Does any of this sound familiar to those of you with an Inattentive diagnosis? Do you also find it nearly impossible to organize your thoughts for big blocks of text or speech without outside help? For those who can relate to this stuff—what do you do for it? Do you take medication, and does it help with the cognitive freezes or the "30 tabs open" feeling? I’d love to hear your experiences! I genuinely feel insane sometimes. I honestly feel like there’s so much more that I’m forgetting to include in this post but this was the best I could do in putting it all together.