Anyone in this sub co-parenting with an ex? I posted on the single parents sub and the heterosexism is alienating af. Just trying to connect with other queer single parents & wondering if this is a place to talk abt those issues?
I am so angry I want to scream, but I’m sitting here sobbing, doubled over in grief. All this drug does is take. It has taken my money, my time, my ambition, my presence, my creativity, my drive, my clarity, my health. It has taken from my most important relationships, my biggest dreams.
I’m on day 2. Again. This is the 6th time in 2 years I’ve tried to quit. I’ll get to a couple weeks or a few months and think, I’m fine now. I’ll just do it socially. Then that turns to “just Sunday”, then “just weekends”, then “just evenings” and before I know it I am smoking all day, it’s all I want to do. And I watch my life go by in smoke.
I have hidden my weed out in the shed in winter, and then walked through the snow to get it. I have thrown my weed in the trash and literally dug it out of the dumpster. This time I had these amazing infused blunts, my favorite. It was so hard to get rid of them but I tore them up in my fire pit. The next day I dug around in the ashes searching for the bud. All my life I learned, weed isn’t addictive. So what tf is this?
Ive been through the cycle of quitting so many times. Every time my life gets better in every way, and then i think, this time i can moderate. Until im right back where i started.
This time i know. I cannot moderate, i am an addict. It has a hold of my brain in a way that no other substance has. It feels like a key locking something into place. But really i am the one being locked up. And I want to be free.