Where did I go wrong?
Hello, I’m 26M and I feel completely apathetic about my life. It all kinda started back in 2023, really. I was relatively normal weight wise, I had a girlfriend for a few years; my parents had marital problems but I didn’t let it affect me.
Senior year of college hits and I had several massive mental breakdowns that messed me up, but I somehow got a degree. GF broke up with me after college and now she has another man that she is clearly happier with than me. Flipped around between various jobs because they were all terrible and I couldn’t get anything stable in my industry. Gained 50 pounds in three years due to a terrible diet. Liver problems arose bc of it. Got diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the same time and no meds worked.
I feel like I have tried everything. Meds, dietitian, therapy. Almost killed myself several times in the past year but never had the balls to do it, so either it never really worked for me or I’m just completely incompetent to the point where I don’t want my life to be better. I don’t try to be a victim. I don’t want to be. But I feel so pathetic and feel like my life is already over.
I get distracted all the time from important activities and have trouble sleeping to the point where I have missed work due to oversleeping. I still don’t eat healthy, and barely go to the gym anymore. I don’t even want a relationship because I am convinced that I am not good enough for anyone.
So, where do I go from here? I’m already too far gone. Haven’t felt suicidal in a while but maybe getting hit by a truck would be better. Idk.
TL;DR Worthless mistake rambles on about his life to no one on Reddit.