Hello everyone! Im adopting a 3yo borzoi next month!
I wanted to get an accurate idea for what size crate to have for an adult male. I see a few 32 in tall ones, but is it better to have a 40+ in tall one instead? Does height matter or should I make sure its long instead?
Mods, please feel free to delete if this is considered reassurance, but I wanted to give a perspective:
Ive (33F) been dating my (36m) bf for a little over a year now. I never felt the "spark" or "butterflies" pr "never wanting to be apart" or anything that could constitute the honeymoon feeling during this time. At first, I was very worried about this. I agonized over it for moths because, like a lot of people, I fell into the trap of expecting these feelings as a sign of finding "The One". And if I DIDN'T feel those things, it must not be the right relstionship.
But now, I think i've finally identified the real/subtle things that make this relationship worth pursuing.
• I may not feel limerence, but I feel affection and warmth. Its not loud. Many days, I have to dig to see it, but it's similar to having a blanket over my shoulders. It's comfort and safety, which i feel is better long term than the head-over-heels feeling others try to push.
• He's the first person I want to talk to when something happens. Work drama? I want to tell him about it. Just planted a blueberry bush? I tell him through text. My new hyperfixation? I want to discuss it with him.
• I think about him when I see something he'd like. Im learning that one of my love languages is gift giving. I'll see something i know he'd like (candy, a shirt, a video game, even something free like a meme or yt video) and I have the urge to give it to him and see his excited reaction to it.
• I, outside of what my anxiety tries to say, trust him enough to have serious conversations. Finances, relationship history, sex concerns, I feel comfortable talking with him about these. Sometimes my anxiety tries to tell me otherwise, but he's proven numerous times that I can ask him anything and discuss issues without fear of an intense reaction. Im comfortable and feel safe enough with him to discuss these things without fear.
Dont get me wrong, my ROCD definitely flares up. There are times I don't want to hang out, or constantly question my decisions. At times, I question if i love him or will ever love him. But I think reminding myself of these other signs help put things into better perspective and challenge my typical ROCD thoughts.
Im still unsure, and a bit scared to say "I love you"...but I think remembering the above points are helping.
Im sure it won't be the same for other people, but I figured id post this if it helps some people identify and focus on subtle things that arent necessarily what society/the media identifies as "love", but could be.