u/Slopaccount123

Im a doctor. I studied medicine because i wanted to be useful and told myself that i would like it. I did sometimes, but not enough. I had a tendency to shy away from big responsibility; adapted myself to taking it anyway. Most of all, i find myself thinking about my true interest: green innovation. Coming up with an idea that will improve everyone's life instead of "helping" one person at a time.

I am 30 and starting a new degree is financially impossible for me. I will have to live out my life knowing i have not stayed true to my core passions and beliefs. Any advice as to how?

Posting this for the helicopter view others sometimes have

I (M30, bisexual) have struggled with mental health issues for a lot of my 20s, unfortunately limiting my ability to explore and date many different folks. I have had intimate experiences with both sexes, and have been in one or two relationships (depending if you count an escalated FWB situation - never again) with men.

I feel like my lack of romantic relationships, especially with women, might become a problem quite soon. I'm dating women who are ready to settle down and perhaps want children. I'm at a point where I'm still exploring how relationships with a man/woman feel for me. This creates commitment issues on my end which limits my confidence in a relationship.

Wondering if there is anyone else with similar experiences and/or advice here. I'm probably stuck in some kind of narrative or mental loop which I want to get out of. Professionals have told me not to worry and just be honest about it, but yeah easier said than done.