This is my birth chart. Will I have love marriage or arranged marriage ? If love marriage, when will I meet my potential partner and from when will we be in a relationship? If arranged marriage, when ?
I (29F) had been in a relationship with a narcissistic man (28M) for a year, I broke up in Nov 2024. It was like a usual narcissistic relationship where I lost all my confidence, was at a very bad mental state, it was emotionally abusive to the extent that even after understanding the abuse, I took 3 more months to breakup with him. The important part is that whatever I did never reached to him that I love him and that his actions are causing pain. Hence during the last 2 months, there were times when he wasnt responding or saying very bad things to me (like how narcissists behave), I said “If I die maybe he will understand my worth” and I showed him that I am killing myself (although I knew I wont go through with it). I did this 5 times.
Months after breakup, when I analysed my behaviour I felt that was wrong of me to do. I shared this in reddit, and you guys made me see that it was my coping mechanism and I kind of understood it was how I reacted because that was the only way to get him to stop his torture.
Now, from January 2026 I somehow got involved in a situationship with a friend - he is not my type as a partner but we are way too compatible as friends. We started having physical things, I told him that let’s not continue because I will get attached and he has a girlfriend. He had just started a relationship in December 2025 with a girl he never met - the girl was head over heels in love with him but from his side it was more of empathetic love because the girl has no parents and no friends. In February, when I decided to avoid talking to him much (we just hanged out in groups), he didnt like it and he also started doing things which usually you do for someone you like. He said he loves me (something he never said his gf), he spent his gf’s bday with me (they are long distance, as I said they never met in real life), he shared his emotions with me, he used to come to my place if I ignored his calls, cook for me, telling things like i miss you, will take leave for your bday, will write you a song, etc etc. - things which led me to fall for him. He made me believe with his words and actions that I am “more special” than his girlfriend and he also said things that he thought of leaving her and continue with me - he didnt act on this. For him also, apparently all these were new and he didnt know what to do.
By the end of Feb, I knew that relationship wont work with him because I wont be able to trust him with this cheating history. I wanted him to be friends, but I knew I need some time gap where we are in no contact because we both had feelings by that time. But entire March and April, whenever I blocked him and stopped contact, he reached out by coming to my place or through friend’s phone or something or the other. And we used to again go back to the same loop. I couldnt be very strict in the boundaries because -
Emotionally I was a wreck because he was not choosing me, I felt inferior to the gf because if he is saying that I mean more, he connects more with me and I am seeing that also in his actions where both of us exist and he is more connected to me but then why is he not leaving her. I didnt want him to commit to me, but atleast be loyal, leave her and be single. And we had these conversations multiple times and I cried to him also - but every time he said we wont do again, but never sticked to it. So after 4 months of pain, I saw that my tears are not making him feel bad to the extent that he would actually stop, and he even after cheating is getting so much love from that girl, that I decided to tell the girl. Not with the intent of “winning him” but with the intent of “making him suffer” because I was the only one in the whole equation who was suffering and I didnt deserve it because I tried to stop him every damn time. I told the girl the whole thing, the girl told his parents and now he has deleted me from everywhere and doesnt talk to me anymore.
This is long story short.
Now the help I need from you guys is on this -
I feel that a part of me falling for him was because of the breadcrumb love that he gave (loving but not committing) because in narcissistic relationships also the same dynamic happens which makes you addicted to this kind of a behaviour. What is your opinion on this ? And if you agree then how to actually not do this going forward ?
The last day when his gf told his parents, he called me saying i ruined his life and he wants to end his life. I went rushing to his place and saw he was sitting with a knife but didnt do anything. After that I wanted to be there so that he doesnt do anything stupid (mother teresa lite), and then I ended up crying again because making him suffer obviously didnt stop my suffering and he was also going from my life. Now here an interesting thing happened - usually he is very caring and loving and he cant see me cry and he even got anxiety attack once just by seeing me cry. But that day since he has pinned the whole thing on me that because of me his image is ruined in front of this parents and his ex gf, when I cried, he didnt even flinch. And it was same like when my ex never cared when I used to cry my eyeballs out. So from somewhere that coping mechanism came back where I sat down with the knife - I knew I wont do anything but I wanted the guy to care. And of course he did care. But here is my second question. I thought it was a coping mechanism for my relationship with my narc ex, why did it come back here also ? And again, how to ensure not to do this in the future ?
After 1.2 years of breakup, this whole incident happened. I thought I had healed because I was doing really good in life, but then does this mean I am not healed ?
I (29F) had been in a relationship with a narcissistic man (28M) for a year, I broke up in Nov 2024. It was like a usual narcissistic relationship where I lost all my confidence, was at a very bad mental state, it was emotionally abusive to the extent that even after understanding the abuse, I took 3 more months to breakup with him. The important part is that whatever I did never reached to him that I love him and that his actions are causing pain. Hence during the last 2 months, there were times when he wasnt responding or saying very bad things to me (like how narcissists behave), I said “If I die maybe he will understand my worth” and I showed him that I am killing myself (although I knew I wont go through with it). I did this 5 times.
Months after breakup, when I analysed my behaviour I felt that was wrong of me to do. I shared this in reddit, and you guys made me see that it was my coping mechanism and I kind of understood it was how I reacted because that was the only way to get him to stop his torture.
Now, from January 2026 I somehow got involved in a situationship with a friend - he is not my type as a partner but we are way too compatible as friends. We started having physical things, I told him that let’s not continue because I will get attached and he has a girlfriend. He had just started a relationship in December 2025 with a girl he never met - the girl was head over heels in love with him but from his side it was more of empathetic love because the girl has no parents and no friends. In February, when I decided to avoid talking to him much (we just hanged out in groups), he didnt like it and he also started doing things which usually you do for someone you like. He said he loves me (something he never said his gf), he spent his gf’s bday with me (they are long distance, as I said they never met in real life), he shared his emotions with me, he used to come to my place if I ignored his calls, cook for me, telling things like i miss you, will take leave for your bday, will write you a song, etc etc. - things which led me to fall for him. He made me believe with his words and actions that I am “more special” than his girlfriend and he also said things that he thought of leaving her and continue with me - he didnt act on this. For him also, apparently all these were new and he didnt know what to do.
By the end of Feb, I knew that relationship wont work with him because I wont be able to trust him with this cheating history. I wanted him to be friends, but I knew I need some time gap where we are in no contact because we both had feelings by that time. But entire March and April, whenever I blocked him and stopped contact, he reached out by coming to my place or through friend’s phone or something or the other. And we used to again go back to the same loop. I couldnt be very strict in the boundaries because -
Emotionally I was a wreck because he was not choosing me, I felt inferior to the gf because if he is saying that I mean more, he connects more with me and I am seeing that also in his actions where both of us exist and he is more connected to me but then why is he not leaving her. I didnt want him to commit to me, but atleast be loyal, leave her and be single. And we had these conversations multiple times and I cried to him also - but every time he said we wont do again, but never sticked to it. So after 4 months of pain, I saw that my tears are not making him feel bad to the extent that he would actually stop, and he even after cheating is getting so much love from that girl, that I decided to tell the girl. Not with the intent of “winning him” but with the intent of “making him suffer” because I was the only one in the whole equation who was suffering and I didnt deserve it because I tried to stop him every damn time. I told the girl the whole thing, the girl told his parents and now he has deleted me from everywhere and doesnt talk to me anymore.
This is long story short.
Now the help I need from you guys is on this -
I feel that a part of me falling for him was because of the breadcrumb love that he gave (loving but not committing) because in narcissistic relationships also the same dynamic happens which makes you addicted to this kind of a behaviour. What is your opinion on this ? And if you agree then how to actually not do this going forward ?
The last day when his gf told his parents, he called me saying i ruined his life and he wants to end his life. I went rushing to his place and saw he was sitting with a knife but didnt do anything. After that I wanted to be there so that he doesnt do anything stupid (mother teresa lite), and then I ended up crying again because making him suffer obviously didnt stop my suffering and he was also going from my life. Now here an interesting thing happened - usually he is very caring and loving and he cant see me cry and he even got anxiety attack once just by seeing me cry. But that day since he has pinned the whole thing on me that because of me his image is ruined in front of this parents and his ex gf, when I cried, he didnt even flinch. And it was same like when my ex never cared when I used to cry my eyeballs out. So from somewhere that coping mechanism came back where I sat down with the knife - I knew I wont do anything but I wanted the guy to care. And of course he did care. But here is my second question. I thought it was a coping mechanism for my relationship with my narc ex, why did it come back here also ? And again, how to ensure not to do this in the future ?
After 1.2 years of breakup, this whole incident happened. I thought I had healed because I was doing really good in life, but then does this mean I am not healed ?