u/SmallCriticism1267

Like many people, I struggled with p*rnography and masturbation for years. I started when I was just 12 years old and it became completely normal to me.

Even after I turned my life over to Christ, started praying and reading the Bible I still just couldn't stop. But one day all changed.

By God's grace, last week was officially 4 months since my last relapse.

I want to share how I got here because I know so many people in this community are struggling. I want you to know it doesn't mean your faith isn't real.

The verse that changed my perspective was 1 Corinthians 10:13. "He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

God provides the way out, but you have to actually take it. The way out is what you do with your time before the urge even arrives.

A few things I had to accept:

1. Willpower is completely useless against a 15-year addiction. Relying on discipline when you're alone in your room at 11PM is a guaranteed fail. Use any browser blockers to put a physical wall between you and the cornhub.

2. Treating a relapse like the end of the world makes it worse. Just keep going.

3. I had way too much idle time. Every single time i relapsed it was because i was bored and idle.

What actually changed things was filling those hours with purpose. I started reading the Bible properly instead of just going through the motions, talk to my parents everyday and started going to the gym.

I also use some tools to help me stay consistent with this. The Purposa app (for habits, goals and focus) and OneSec (for blocking apps and websites).

If you are a person of faith and you are struggling with this, the relapses are not proof that God has given up on you. Keep going. 🙏

Who else is on this journey? What day are you on?

For almost two years I was waking up at 3 or 4am most nights and just lying there until my alarm. I was functional enough to do the work, but ALWAYS felt like sh!t.

I tried the obvious stuff before, but none of it worked for me.

Blue light glasses for 6 weeks, no screens after 9pm, and even high-dose melatonin that everyone recommends. Literally nothing helped(

I had also tried the consistent wake time thing twice before and gave up both times after about a week because it didn't seem to be working. And unfortunately, that was the mistake.

The third time I picked 6:45am and actually held it, including weekends, including the nights I stayed up late. It suddenly worked.

The first two weeks were genuinely rough. But on week 3 something shifted. I was tired at 10:30pm in a way I had not felt in probably years.

Room temperature was the second change that actually moved the needle for me. I had been sleeping at whatever the apartment was, somewhere around 72-73F. Dropping it to 65-67F consistently made a difference I could feel within the first week.

Morning sunlight was third. Within 30 minutes of waking up I spend 10-15 minutes outside or on my balcony. (This one took longer to notice.)

The other stuff that helped: cutting back on alcohol, not training too late, eating an actual dinner instead of snacks. But without those 3 above, none of this will work.

The part that genuinely surprised me was the ripple effect. Once my sleep stabilized, my focus at work got noticeably better and my mood was twice as good. At one point my coworker asked if something had changed in my life, and I told her I was just sleeping better)

I also started using a few tools to help me track everything. The Purposa app helped me track my morning and evening habits and just made me more consistent and focused. The second tool is Whoop. Yes, it sounds like too much, but tracking sleep made me more aware of it.

Honest advice from this:

Hold the consistent wake time for 3 full weeks before deciding it isn't working. One week is not a real test.

If you have spent money on sleep gadgets and still sleep badly, try doing the boring basics consistently for a month first. It is not that the gadgets are useless. It is that the boring stuff has to be working underneath for anything else to help.

Curious what has been the main thing stopping you from staying consistent with sleep? (Or if you have fixed yours, what worked for you?)

For almost two years I was waking up at 3 or 4am most nights and just lying there until my alarm. I was functional enough to do the work, but ALWAYS felt like sh!t.

I tried the obvious stuff before, but none of it worked for me.

Blue light glasses for 6 weeks, no screens after 9pm, and even high-dose melatonin that everyone recommends. Literally nothing helped(

I had also tried the consistent wake time thing twice before and gave up both times after about a week because it didn't seem to be working. And unfortunately, that was the mistake.

The third time I picked 6:45am and actually held it, including weekends, including the nights I stayed up late. It suddenly worked.

The first two weeks were genuinely rough. But on week 3 something shifted. I was tired at 10:30pm in a way I had not felt in probably years.

Room temperature was the second change that actually moved the needle for me. I had been sleeping at whatever the apartment was, somewhere around 72-73F. Dropping it to 65-67F consistently made a difference I could feel within the first week.

Morning sunlight was third. Within 30 minutes of waking up I spend 10-15 minutes outside or on my balcony. (This one took longer to notice.)

The other stuff that helped: cutting back on alcohol, not training too late, eating an actual dinner instead of snacks. But without those 3 above, none of this will work.

The part that genuinely surprised me was the ripple effect. Once my sleep stabilized, my focus at work got noticeably better and my mood was twice as good. At one point my coworker asked if something had changed in my life, and I told her I was just sleeping better)

I also started using a few tools to help me track everything. The Purposa app helped me track my morning and evening habits and just made me more consistent and focused. The second tool is Whoop. Yes, it sounds like too much, but tracking sleep made me more aware of it.

Honest advice from this:

Hold the consistent wake time for 3 full weeks before deciding it isn't working. One week is not a real test.

If you have spent money on sleep gadgets and still sleep badly, try doing the boring basics consistently for a month first. It is not that the gadgets are useless. It is that the boring stuff has to be working underneath for anything else to help.

Curious what has been the main thing stopping you from staying consistent with sleep? (Or if you have fixed yours, what worked for you?)

I grew up knowing about God. My family went to church, I heard the gospel, and I knew what Jesus did on the cross. But as I lately understood, knowing about Him and actually surrendering to Him are two completely different things.

For years I was deep in p*rn, scrolling on social media every single day, and drinking on weekends. I was doing nothing with my own life even as a 23 year old man. And the most painful part was doing all of this while calling myself a christian. I'd pray, feel guilty, promise to do better, and relapse by the next day.

About 30 days ago something happened. I was alone in my room at like 2am, feeling completely exhausted from living the way I was living. Not dramatically crying on the floor or anything like that. Just... done. I opened my bible, read for a while, and just said to myself: "I can't do this alone anymore."

That was it. This quiet, overwhelming feeling of not being alone anymore. Like something heavy I had been carrying for years just lifted.

The next morning I woke up and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I didn't reach for my phone first thing. I just lay there and it was peaceful.

What changed in 30 days:

I deleted Instagram and TikTok off my phone.

I started reading my bible every single morning before anything else. Even just 10 minutes. That time became the most important part of my day.

I downloaded Opal to block the sites and apps that were pulling me back to those bad habits, and I started using the Purposa app to focus on my life goals and improving my habits. And that was actually an eye-opener for me. I used to think self-improvement wasn't for God, but now I understand that I improve myself for my family, and for everyone around me.

I started going to the gym. I started actually calling my family. I started showing up for my little brother.

I'm not going to pretend I'm a perfect person now. I'm still fighting every single day. But the difference is I'm not fighting alone anymore.

If you grew up in the church and you feel like a hypocrite because you keep failing, I just want you to know: you don't have to earn your way back. You can just come back. That's the whole point of grace.

It was the best decision of my entire life.

I hope this inspires someone to start their own journey today. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

I grew up knowing about God. My family went to church, I heard the gospel, and I knew what Jesus did on the cross. But as I lately understood, knowing about Him and actually surrendering to Him are two completely different things.

For years I was deep in p*rn, scrolling on social media every single day, and drinking on weekends. I was doing nothing with my own life even as a 23 year old man. And the most painful part was doing all of this while calling myself a christian. I'd pray, feel guilty, promise to do better, and relapse by the next day.

About 30 days ago something happened. I was alone in my room at like 2am, feeling completely exhausted from living the way I was living. Not dramatically crying on the floor or anything like that. Just... done. I opened my bible, read for a while, and just said to myself: "I can't do this alone anymore."

That was it. This quiet, overwhelming feeling of not being alone anymore. Like something heavy I had been carrying for years just lifted.

The next morning I woke up and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I didn't reach for my phone first thing. I just lay there and it was peaceful.

What changed in 30 days:

I deleted Instagram and TikTok off my phone.

I started reading my bible every single morning before anything else. Even just 10 minutes. That time became the most important part of my day.

I downloaded Opal to block the sites and apps that were pulling me back to those bad habits, and I started using the Purposa app to focus on my life goals and improving my habits. And that was actually an eye-opener for me. I used to think self-improvement wasn't for God, but now I understand that I improve myself for my family, and for everyone around me.

I started going to the gym. I started actually calling my family. I started showing up for my little brother.

I'm not going to pretend I'm a perfect person now. I'm still fighting every single day. But the difference is I'm not fighting alone anymore.

If you grew up in the church and you feel like a hypocrite because you keep failing, I just want you to know: you don't have to earn your way back. You can just come back. That's the whole point of grace.

It was the best decision of my entire life.

I hope this inspires someone to start their own journey today. Has anyone been in a similar situation?