u/Smart-Juggernaut6437

hey yall, for reference my gf and i are both 20f. two beautiful black virgo women (trust we bump heads like every week 😭😩), and we began speaking about a trip to puerto rico about a month ago. literally planning to buy tickets, watching tiktoks, talking about what we’d do, etc. i was excited. very shortly after this, she asked me to be her girlfriend officially after 6 months of dating.

she’s been dealing with personal issues and under lots of stress since she just graduated university, which we’ve also been speaking about and im always here to listen and support in the ways i can. she knows she can always come to me about absolutely anything that goes on in her crazy head.

we hang around the same friend group and they are planning future trips in september (my birthday month) and so on that she is agreeing to.

so the other day she says that she would like to put puerto rico ‘on the back burner’, because she’s dealing with a lot and has a new set of responsibilities since leaving school which i understand. she has to book a trip back to her home country to deal with family issues during late summer as well. she also says she’ll be in a better financial position and have more free time.

i really wanted to go though, and i felt like i deserved a chance of enjoying myself this summer rather than waiting around for my girlfriend to have some free time. i’m always working during the summer and staying put up, depressed. i went ahead and booked one round trip to PR, and am getting everything else together as time passes. my girlfriend is obviously upset because we came up with the idea together and it’s as if im leaving her behind. i get why she’s upset but also, my sake of happiness doesn’t necessarily depend on her all the time!! how do yall feel about this? am i in the wrong? should i cancel (probs not lol)? go somewhere else?

As a Black woman who has has HS since age 10 (now 20), and since then has developed to stage 3, I became VERY good at hiding my condition. So much so that now I am confident in telling others (preferably intimate partners) about my condition. I feel as though, even when I do voice my pain, it isnt taken seriously. Im very hyper independent, and don’t how to ask for help when it comes to my flares and the pain they cause. It makes it very easy for a partner to brush over. They say they want to help but don’t take further steps because it maybe seems like I have it under control. I know I shouldn’t because it is no ones fault, but I cant help to feel a sense of anger or irritation when it comes to relationships because I am truly suffering from the multiple symptoms of this chronic condition every day, and have to act like Im okay. I dont wanna come off as a cranky b*tch, but for valid reasons, I AM! Im going through a painfulll flare, and all I can think about is how no one seems to care, or maybe I interpret it that way. I wish I was treated with more care.