u/SmartSassy1111

I’m F26, in a relationship for the past 5years and planning to marry my BF 31M.

I manifested him, and he’s such a loving and caring person. Everything just like I wished for.
Except one thing, he has addictions. (Weed smoking alcohol)
I even took a break with my partner for a year to manifest this loving, securely attached version of them. Before, we had a lot of compatibility issues and now it’s all perfect. Only issue is his addictions.

Around 20days back, I was so tired and exhausted I just shifted my state that he’s gonna drop it all. I don’t have to beg him and do any requests anymore.
Guess what? Just the couple of days after this shift he was diagnosed with mild pneumonia and he quit it all. Antibiotics made him quit it for a week. He even told he no longer wants to smell cigarettes but the craving for a joint hasn’t gone.
It’s been 15 days of sobriety and pooof... Day 16th he’s back to smoking joint with cigarette mixed.

I don’t know what went wrong? These days I appreciate him. Motivated him for choosing himself. I went on to tell people how happy I was, I was taking a step forward with my career so I was not focused on him but I saw how lively he was during his sobriety. He felt more active. Better sleep.

I legit expected he’d drop it all. Given he even asked his doctor about quitting a 15years habit and he said rehab is the only solution.

Today, I just felt so let down. I was just so unhappy and felt my feelings. Cried to him. I energetically found he smoked before he even confessed it to me. Antibiotics are still being continued as prescribed for the entire month.
He says be present, don’t overthink. That’s all.

I don’t know what should I do anymore.
I’m not ready to move on to another partner because I believe we can have anything we desire.

Looking for help. If anyone has manifested similar things do share.
Why is 3D so inconsistent? It’s knocking me down. I just felt stress free and focused on other things in life… boasted my happiness to everyone.

I’m sorry for the long post. Edited and tried to include all context n details in n made them as precise as I could.

23F, boyfriend is 28M. We’ve been together for 4.5 years and plan to get married next year after I finish my studies and he’s in a better financial position.

We’ve had our ups and downs, including a breakup in the past due to some addiction-related issues, but we got back together and have both worked hard on ourselves. Emotional intimacy was lacking initially, but over the years we’ve improved a lot and genuinely love each other. We both see marriage and a future together.

The problem is our physical and romantic intimacy has gradually declined.

We live with our families (South Indian families), and currently meet only about once a month for a lunch or movie date. Occasionally, if circumstances allow, we get a couple of hours together at night, but that’s rare. Earlier, when families weren’t involved, we had much more freedom to spend time together.

My boyfriend works long hours in a family business, usually from afternoon until late night, and is constantly stressed about work. We mostly talk during his commute. Because of my classes and his schedule, our timings barely match.

He says he desires me and wants me, and he reacts positively if I send photos or dress up. But he rarely flirts, sexts, compliments me, or expresses desire verbally. For example, if I mention I’m ovulating or send him lingerie options, his responses are practical or neutral rather than romantic or playful.

I’ve tried initiating because he often shares posts saying women should initiate too. But when I do, I often feel brushed off or rejected. He has also mentioned that weight gain and exhaustion have affected his confidence and desire for physical intimacy.

I’m becoming sexually frustrated. It’s not just about sex…I want to feel desired, pursued, and wanted by my partner. I miss the passion and flirtation. I sometimes feel like I’m always the one trying to create that energy.

How do I communicate this without making him feel guilty, pressured, or inadequate? Has anyone been in a long-term relationship where love is strong but physical/romantic intimacy has faded due to stress, schedules, and life circumstances?