u/Smolmomi__7397

Hi guys,

Today I want to share the drama that happened during my brother's rishta process. The rishta is finally over now, but the drama around it was honestly more interesting than the rishta itself.

My brother is 28, educated, settled, and Alhamdulillah doing well in life. We asked some relatives if they knew of any suitable families looking for a proposal. My aunt's husband is a doctor, and one of his employees was looking for a match for his daughter, so they introduced us.

We met the family, liked the girl, and they liked my brother too. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. We directly asked if they had any expectations or demands. They said, "No, we only want haq mehr." We said that's completely fine.

Then came the third meeting.

Suddenly, they brought up a demand for a 5-marla plot in the girl's name and gold as well. Their explanation was that it was for their daughter's security and future. This led to disagreements between both families. Eventually, on the third Eid after all this started, my father decided to end the proposal because the discussions were going nowhere.

Now comes the second part of the drama.

The uncle who introduced the proposal got upset that we rejected it. He said we should have discussed the matter with him first. My father replied that there was nothing left to discuss because the girl's family wasn't willing to reconsider their demands anyway.

Instead of accepting that, he got extremely offended, started acting like a child, complained to my aunt, my aunt complained to my mother, and eventually they said, "Fine, we won't help you find any more rishtas. Find them yourselves. Don't even invite us when the wedding happens because we won't come."

Our response was basically: "That's okay. Agr sirf humari apne family bhi hogii, we'll still manage just fine. We don't need anyone's permission to get our son married." 😂

Honestly, sometimes the family drama around a rishta is bigger than the rishta itself.

My family is looking for a marriage proposal for my brother in Bahawalpur. We live in Karachi, but both my mother and father are originally from Bahawalpur, so they really want a girl from there.

The problem is that wherever we go to see a proposal, the demands never seem to end. People openly ask for things like plots, gold, expensive haq mehr, and other financial commitments. Some even say things like, “If you give this now, it will only benefit your own son in the future anyway.”

What surprises me is that even families who are middle class or below are making these kinds of demands, despite not being very well-off themselves. Meanwhile, our only expectations are that the girl should be educated and pretty. We have even clearly said that we do not want dowry or anything from the girl’s side.

So my question is: is this what the marriage market is like now? Are these kinds of demands considered normal and justified, or are people simply taking advantage of the situation?

I genuinely want honest opinions and advice because this whole process has become very confusing and frustrating.