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A delicious treat for my fellow dark romancers🤌[The Portrait of Pride]
I started on a whim. I loved it. Then I hated it. Then I dropped it. Then I picked it up again. Then I loved it again.
All that in the span of 2 days.
>The story follows a blind girl who's hired (more like forced) to be a spy at the Crown Prince's palace at the orders of his half brother. Her job is to seduce the secluded and eccentric prince and distract him until the assassination comes. The problem? Well, the man who was said to be kind and gentle was actually ruthless and cruel with a twisted hobby: drawing the people he killed. And she's to be his next muse.
First and foremost, I love the characterization in this novel. Both leads are ao well written, consistent and coherent in their personalities.
They don't act in ways that make you doubt what you know about them and they don't change without a reason. Besides, they're just fascinating to look at.
It would be an euphemism to call Felix (ML) eccentric. In reality, he's a weirdo obsessed with painting and beautiful things. His behaviour is erratic and his train of thought is just something else😭. Everyone says it all the time: he's not right in the head. It's a fact.
At first, I found his quirkiness a little cute and funny, but as the story develops, we notice that his weird behaviour and lacking social skills actually comes from an inability to feel empathy. He cannot feel sorry for others. He doesn't see anyone else as a fellow human, not even the people who supported him for his entire life.
His lacking emotional depth leads him to live to fulfil whatever intrusive thought that crosses his mind, be that positioning a corpse for his new piece at a dinner table or painting the female lead. Not her on the canvas. She's the canvas.
Slowly he becomes obsessed with her and all the expressions she makes. He wants to paint them all and keep them all for himself, but his obsession is quite egocentric. He cares about her only because it affects his hobby. He doesn't truly cares about her.
That much is obvious when he constantly acts on a whim and do things that will hurt her on an emotional level and his possessiveness that know no boundaries. He wants to monopolize her every smile so she will only look and think about him, but he's incapable of making her happy.
He manipulates, violates, destroys and eventually begs, but none of that will stop her from leaving for she can't stand his presence.
Diana (FL) is someone who knows too well how cruel people can be coming from a colonised nation, branded as slave, forced ro work on a brothel since a young age and then blinded by the jealousy of noble lady. She knows how fickle and twisted the interest of someone like Felix will be, but if you're too thirsty and the only water you have is poisoned, you'll eventually die from poisoning not from dehydration. So, she gets closer to the prince despite her fears and tries to rebrand his cruelty towards her as "something that she chose for herself". She finds solace in the little freedom he allows her and his taciturn company.
However, he betrays, uses and abandons her. He broke her in so many ways, yet he can't seem to let her go, afterall. So eventually she leaves on her own and crushes his hand while she's at it.
What I love about this story is how she genuinely despises him at this point. She leaves without a single regret and when the third arc begins and they meet again, she still hates him just as much.
Amd this arc is just perfection, seriously. The way she quite literally tames him and turn him into her guard dog? Delicious. The way he finally understands the concept of empathy and realises just how awful he was to her? Gratificating. The way she claims him as hers even if she marries another person and has children, even if she never wants sees him again? THE ABSOLUTE CINEMA.
Until the very end, she holds the reins of this relationship and she doesn't marry him, she doesn't even allow him to live nearby. They just occasionally see each other when SHE wants and then he waits until her next call.
One final note of appreciation: I love that he became the talkative person in the relationship 😭😭she gave him a magical "device" for communication and he just can't shut up for a second asking questions and talking about his day to the point she had to "block" him.
This one is a 4/5 stars for me. I really like it, but there are some things that I would change, especially the amount of angst. I like the suffering, but argh 50% of the story is pure misery for the fl and I wish she would snap at him and tell him just how disgusting he is, but she doesn't so that part got me really frustrated and I almost dropped it. I did for like 10min.😭
If you're gonna read this, beware of the trigger warnings. YOU WERE WARNED:
Rape, graphic violence, miscarriage and suicide.