u/Smooth_Wasabi8433

Is this a possibility? I have no idea what's normal anymore....

For context- I was in a depressed state for about 6 months after a horrible attempt at prozac ... Before the last six months, I had regular hypomania and mild depression that I was always able to pull myself out of.

I started lamotrogine 10 days ago and up until yesterday I was feeling REALLY good.. Almost too good... In fact yes, it was definitely too good... On what fucking planet would I ever make TWO kinds of bread, cookies and a soup all in one day? 😂

So I went from depressed and basically non functional to baking, cleaning, running around like a maniac and didn't even realize how insane that was until right now..

Now I'm coming down... obviously because I woke up more sad than I've been in the last 10 days.... And well... I'm HERE right now and not fucking baking bread.

What's the deal. What is happening

I have suspected something wrong with me for a LONG time.. basically any time I was coming out of depression and reaching hypomania and I had a moment of clear thinking , I would think "something is seriously wrong with me" ..and the few times I mentioned to my partner that I think I might be bipolar or have something wrong with my brain, he would basically say that I for sure wasn't bipolar bcuz he's seen what true bipolar looks like and he said I wasn't that.

I have officially ruined our lives. I've ended all of our friendships, and made it impossible for us to have friends as a couple. I have no job because I can't stay stable. My body has changed so much in the last 6 months due to a deep depressio that we can't even enjoy the activities we used to enjoy. . I have gone to soooo many doctors about my sleep problems for so long (which I am just now realizing is a huge sign of BP).

I feel so fucking angry and stupid for not listening to my gut and asking for a BP screening a long time ago.

How does my partner still deny my BP diagnosis? Like he thinks it's not "real"...he thinks that I can just try hard enough and not have these issues.

Okaaaaaaaay..... So you think I just WANTED to blow up our lives and feel constantly angry and unstable and depressed and hyper? Like wtf!!!!!!! 14 years of marriage and watching me go thru this cycle every month and you think THATS NORMAL and that I've just chosen that EVERY FUCKING MONTH?

My entire fucking world has been turned upside down. And my entire life finally fucking makes sense.. I've never been able to keep friends..I've never been able to keep a job.. I was too scared to go to college...too scared to waste money on something I knew I wouldn't be able to stick with because of my emotions.

Yes, I've started medication and I have a good psychiatrist.

It doesn't fix the mess my life is.

Wtf. Wtf. Wtf.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

Prozac is the reason I discovered this BP... It ruined my life even more. It was the straw that broke the camels back.

I'm on 25mg and plan to titrate up very slowly, as I'm sensitive to medications.

It's been activating for me so I take half a pill in the morning and another half in the afternoon (I plan to ask for extended release). The first day I was insanely sweaty and my eyes felt weird...that wore off the next day.

I had severe depression and mood swings that I didn't realize was so severe until this med started kicking in apparently. I have done healthy human activities the last few days for the first time in forever. Even some of my mild OCD tendencies have lightened up...I used to obsessively put on lotion all day and I haven't thought about doing that!

Most people say that this medication doesn't take effect for many weeks (because you have to slowly titrate up)... But as usual- I react differently to this med compared to most.

I have tried SSRIs and birth control in the last and both have made me spiral and not be able to function. So happy I finally listened to my psychiatrist - I really put off lamotrogine for a while because I was terrified of having another bad experience (I was still recovering from trying out prozac). I'm so glad I finally listened and tried this. I feel hopeful again. 🥹

Just curious as to how many people here have had success with lamotrogine (prescribed by a psychiatrist ) and if they are willing to share how it's helped you