AIO - one-sided friendship
Strap in folks, this might be a long one.
I have a best friend, both of us 30f, who I've known for almost two decades. This friendship has felt pretty one-sided for a while if I'm being honest. When she was going through a tough time for over a year and didn't want to be home alone, I would go to her house several nights a week and stay with her, sometimes spending the night.
I stopped doing as much when I realized she wasn't really reciprocating anything. I needed a ride to the airport, she was too tired, even though she had already agreed to take me a week or so earlier. I was always going to her house, she never came to mine. She would rant about what was going on in her life and didn't seem to care about what was going on in mine.
Recently, she's been going through a really bad breakup. The problem is that I didn't even know she was in a relationship. Apparently for the past 18 months or so, she has been in a secret relationship and didn't tell me because she "didn't want me to judge her". She has told everything to her cousin and even brought the guy to family events, but kept it from me the entire time. The only reason she told me now is because he ghosted her and she needs support.
Is it bad that sometimes I want to tell her to go cry to her cousin? I feel so petty but I'm kinda hurt. I've gone over a few times after the breakup, but I've realized it's not because she wants to spend time with me, she just doesn't want to be alone. After keeping me in the dark for so long, suddenly that guy is all she wants to talk about.
Idk, I'm rambling at this point. I guess my question is this: Am I overreacting by being hurt/annoyed that my best friend kept something from me for so long and now won't shut up about it?