u/SnooStrawberries6903

The memories.

I remember from 2004-2016 when I used to hold by seven fast days a year. Waking up at 4:15 a.m to stuff my face before the sun rose, on those five minor days.

I remember in 2016, after studying Kabbalah and eastern belief systems, when I knocked out the minor ones so it was down to two. Why torture myself for nothing? I told myself I would always keep Tish B'av and Yom Kippur.

I remember in 2018 when I stopped fasting on Tish B'av because I was morning for nothing. The whole concept of pretending to be sad and mourning for those 25 hours was ridiculous and just seemed that everyone was pretending. I ask michila from everybody I greeted with a smile on those mornings. The chutzpah.

I remember in 2020, after realizing through further study, reading , research and meditation that I was no longer a theist. I am grateful to the quarantine for enabling me to not have to attend minyan for 4 months. What a wonderful spring cleaning that was.

I remember, filled with fear and trepidation, when I I stopped fasting in 2021 on Yom Kippur.

I now know and will remember that there is no deity judging me, and that there's no need to have any fear of not fasting. I am cut off from nothing, because that's what belief in all theistic religions consists of.

Freedom is great.

The memories.

I remember from 2004-2016 when I used to hold by seven fast days a year. Waking up at 4:15 a.m to stuff my face before the sun rose, on those five minor days.

I remember in 2016, after studying Kabbalah and eastern belief systems, when I knocked out the minor ones so it was down to two. Why torture myself for nothing? I told myself I would always keep Tish B'av and Yom Kippur.

I remember in 2018 when I stopped fasting on Tish B'av because I was morning for nothing. The whole concept of pretending to be sad and mourning for those 25 hours was ridiculous and just seemed that everyone was pretending. I ask michila from everybody I greeted with a smile on those mornings. The chutzpah.

I remember in 2020, after realizing through further study, reading , research and meditation that I was no longer a theist. I am grateful to the quarantine for enabling me to not have to attend minyan for 4 months. What a wonderful spring cleaning that was.

I remember, filled with fear and trepidation, when I I stopped fasting in 2021 on Yom Kippur.

I now know and will remember that there is no deity judging me, and that there's no need to have any fear of not fasting. I am cut off from nothing, because that's what belief in all theistic religions consists of.

Freedom is great.