u/SocietyVisible5092

hey guys. This is going to be long so buckle up.

As the title says, I’m spiraling about having to become a pastor. Ive posted about this multiple times in the past two years ago. For context i‘m a 21 year old woman who’s currently in Nursing School right now. Nursing School itself is hard and a lot of work but it’s work I feel proud of and called to. A few years ago though, I had a breif thought pop into my head about becoming a pastor. It was brief and even back then I thought about how I didn’t want to do that. but a little while latter I started have non-stop intrusive thoughts about it .

I started hearing the word Semenary repeat in my head over and over again. And I don’t mean throughout the day. I mean the word would loop in my head almost every minute until I couldn’t think straight or focus on anything else. I prayed about it SO much. And just when I thought I had clarity my mind would be like, “What if you’re wrong? What if you really are called to this and you have to do it? Otherwise you’re not a real Christian and you'll most certainly burn in Hell.”

I spiraled about it for a good two years on and off. I prayed about it constantly. I fasted about it. I thought about it endlessly and broke down many times. One time I was praying and I got things strong feeling of peace and Serenity and thought I felt God telling me that this was not my calling and I didn’t have to worry anymore. And for a time a felt at peace. But then my pastor did a sermon saying that just because you feel at peace doesn’t mean that it’s actually God’s will. I started endless ruminating about it again after that.

This year things got better. I’m not diagnosed with OCD but I heavily suspect I have it. Ive taken advice about accepting uncertainty. I knew I felt a calling for healthcare and I knew i still loved God, so I accepted that although I didn’t feel called to be a Pastor and nor did I want to be, I was always going to feel a little uncertainty about it and that’s ok and that I wouldn’t go to hell.

Then I listened to a sermon from Church for the first time in months. This semester I had Sunday clinicals so I didnt attend church a lot. In that sermon a woman from my Church, who’s in school to become a liscensed minister gave a sermon about callings. Immediately I felt dread because I knew the can on worms this would open up.

She talked about how God had been calling her for years but she ignored it and missed out on so much. She said now she’s in a season of her life where she answers whatever God calls her to do no matter what, even if she’s nervous. The sermon felt like it was describing the two year spiral I had. She talked about how sometimes we ignore God’s voice and when we do that we miss out on so much.

I immediately felt guilty and doubtful and started wondering again, “What if I really am called to be a pastor? If I don’t do it, it means I don’t love God and I’m selfish and I’ll burn In hell.” But the thing is, I didn’t ignore God about this topic. I prayed about it 1000x. I watched sermons on the topic. I re-read Bible verses over and over again. At a certain point in my life it was all I could think about. Deep down I Knew I didn’t want to do it, but being a Christian means doing lots of things you don’t want to do if you actually love God. But then I thought about it potentially being OCD. OCD is ego-distonic and often makes you think about the very things that go against your values or desires. I remember being in High school and someone had said that women can’t be pastors accoridng to the Bible, and I remember thinking back then, “Thank God because I dont want to be one anyway.” I remember having thoughts like “I’m so glad I’m not being called to this very specific thing because if I am it means I have to do it or else Im not a real Christian and I’ll burn in hell forever.

I feel like part of me treats it like a Compulsion. Like a year ago when the word semenary blazed through my head non-stop, I gave in and started looking for programs. For a moment I felt relief and thought that this meant the obsessive thoughts would stop. But every time I called and looked into programs I felt nothing but dread. And Ignored those feelings because “faith over fear.” The temporary relief that I felt didn’t last long at all. I felt dread and sadness every time. I was so close to signing up to Liberty University and every time it got closer to registration, I just felt dread and anger. I knew I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t feel like I felt conviction to be a pastor, but the “what if?” question always came up. I have a hard time tolerating uncertainty because of my fear of making God upset and Hell. I think about hell every day.

Ultimately i‘m heart broken because I thought I had finally accepted the uncertainty. I felt assured that God was not actually calling me to be a pastor and that I could still love and serve him even without forcing myself to go to Semenary and preach. I also accepted that my mind ruminates a lot and that I have to be ok with uncertainty and the “what if.” But that all feels gone now. My stomach is in knots and I broke down crying after that sermon. Help and advice would be much appreciated!

Hey yall, as the title says. I was in the ADN program at my school and I just failed Med Surge 1. I also had to retake A&P 2 a few semesters ago, so I’m out of the program. I’m obviously feeling super devestated and defeated right now. I really need advice.

I’m also taking Pharm this semester and my final is tomorrow. I’ve barely studied for this exam because ive spent so much time studying for med surge. At this point i would need to pull an all nighter to scratch even 50% of the material for the exam. is it worth it pushing to study even though ive already failed out?

Second, I need to figure out what to do next. My school offers an option where If you fail ADN you can do LPN and then go back and re-do ADN. A lot of the classes are very similar. But my school is also for profit and im already going into a lot of debt. Should I just thug it out and do LPN-ADN-and then BSN down the line? Or should I find another school? I honestly feel very anxious about starting over at another place.

I feel so drained and tired. My brain feels like mush. I’m so disappointed in myself because I really did try, but it wasn’t enough. All advice is welcome.

like the title says. I’m a current nursing student and I’m really struggling. I only have two more semesters left so I know I just need to pull through. And I know that nursing school is not supposed to be easy. Despite knowing these things I find myself comparing my myself to my classmates all the time .

for context, I live at home with my parents and I don’t have any kids or dependents. I don’t work anymore either and quit my job to focus more on school because I was so close to failing ( I’m doing better now but could very well still fail the semester and fail the program). Meanwhile, a lot of my classmates have kids and work full time while doing Nursing school. A lot of them do better on exams than me and just seem to know what they’re doing more often than not.

I have it so easy compared to them and yet I feel like i’m drowning all of the time. I feel stressed, stupid, weak, pathetic, exhausted, and deeply stressed all of the time. I’m also the type of person who really struggles to get started on tasks and be productive in any way, which makes me feel guiltier because I’m wasting all the study time I do have.

My mom‘s a nurse and she got through nursing school while having to work full time and take care of three kids and she’s expressed genuine confusion and anger as to why I have everything easier than she ever did and yet seem to be struggling so much. I don’t get why my life is so much easier and I have less stressors, and yet I end up being a lazy bum. And when I am studying the only thing that drives me to actually get started on the work and get out of bed is intense fear over failing. Is there any way to get motivated by something other than an intense feeling of failure, or should I just accept this is how nursing school is?

hey all. I’m really struggling right now, to put it shortly. I took an exam this week for Med surge 1 and failed it. I think I’ve gotten the lowest score out of anyone. And last week I failed a pharmacology exam. Now I need to do really well on the last two exams and proctors or I fail out of the program all together. The med surge exam really broke me because I studied a lot for it but obviously not as much as I should have. But there were things on that exam that I don’t even remember going over, meanwhile my classmates were saying it was fairly easy.

I just feel so demoralized, which I know is normal in nursing school. You fall and get back up. I’m just stressed because those exams took so much out of me and I have to start planning how to pass the next exams. I know there’s still hope but my mind is stuck in a negative cycle. In lecture today I couldn’t focus on anything because all I was thinking about was how badly I failed. In the past when I failed an exam, I would know I just need to study more. But I feel completely lost now in regards to my study methods. I hoped it would at least get me enough points to fail with a 60% and even that didn’t happen.

I cried so much when I was studying because I already felt like what I was doing was futile even before the exam. What would yall recommend for getting out of this bad headspace so I can lock in harder?

Hello, I'm 21 (F) and I have been wanting to get assessed for ADHD for three years now. I have been struggling so much with things I thought were ADHD symptoms. But every time I've tried to get tested, my efforts have been frustrated. From not having insurance, to getting scammed when I did get insurance, to having to spend the money I saved up to get tested when emergencies happened.

I'm in nursing school right now and I am struggling so much. But the struggles came long before college. I've struggled with the ability to focus, motivation to do basically anything, my sleep schedule, my grades, and emotional regulation. I currently have health insurance through my parents but using insurance is not an option. I come from an immigrant background, and if you know anything about that, they tend to be very against anything mental health related. Mind you, both or my parents work in healthcare , but they don't believe in adhd, meds, therapy, or anything like that.

I've tried telling myself that I'm just lazy and I need to work harder. I thought I could just white knuckle my way through. But every single time I always end up back at sqaure one. I finally saved enough money to get tested but then found out that the office I want to get tested in lost all of it's testers and it might take a while to get new ones. This is making me anxious because I wanted to get the test done with as soon as possible. If my parents find out about the money to get tested they will be super angry. But I also just quit my job to study more and now I might need that money that I saved up. I feel at a loss. Any thoughts?