u/Soft-Recognition-548

‼️TRIGGER WARNING ‼️- suicide

I just left the PMDD sub because they’ve removed 2 comments I’ve made over the months talking about antihistamines.

Let me say this- after talking to my doctor about my symptoms and saying an OTC antihistamine brought me back from >!almost ending my life in my bathroom from a fit of luteal suicidal thoughts many!< months ago, told me that that was a very safe way to manage my symptoms. I’m so sick of seeing posts of other women reaching out for help >!“standing on the edge”!< , and not receiving information that might help because antihistamines aren’t “approved or recommended” for treatment of PMDD. What works for another person might not work for someone else, I agree but the thought of another person being in the same situation I was and not having that info makes me spiral.

I thank my lucky stars I stumbled across someone mentioning antihistamines because I’m still here to tell the tale.

It truly makes me sick. Just a rant, sorry.

I’m in my early 30s, in a LTR, terrified of getting pregnant, and considering getting sterilized soon.

I have ADHD, Autism and PMDD. After years and years of trying different birth control I had to come off all of it, the side effects made life too hard.

Whats holding me back is that even though I don’t want to be pregnant, sacrifice my time, my money, my body, my identity, my relationships, I feel like I’d love having adult children and a family as I get older. But I’d be a miserable mom to a young child. My needs with my diagnosis’s are just too high to even think of having to care for a baby. I don’t think I’d survive postpartum. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I just need to get sterilization over with but I get sad thinking of a fictional family in my senior years. Also my gene pool is historically a mess, I’m lucky I turned out like I did and I’d feel terrible passing that roulette on to someone else.

Am I making this decision too early ? Did any of you come to the same conclusion?