u/SolStar17

A story I'm sure a lot of us can relate to...

I know I definitely can in my marriage.

I once heard a story...

About a man who broke a window in a woman’s house. He apologised.

So she forgave him.

And he assumed that meant the window wasn’t broken anymore.

But every night...

Cold air came through the crack. Rain found its way inside.

She could still feel the damage, even when nobody else could see it.

So eventually she said...

“We need to fix the window.”

And he looked confused.

“But I already said sorry.”

She tried to explain...

“I know. But saying sorry didn’t replace the glass.”

And somehow, he became frustrated with her.

“Why are we still talking about this?”

“Why can’t things just go back to normal?”

“I thought you forgave me.”

And slowly, the broken window became less important than her reaction to being cold.

So she started pretending she wasn’t.

She stopped mentioning the draught.

Cleaned up the rain herself.

Put another blanket around her shoulders and called it forgiveness.

Until one day...

She realised something.

He didn’t actually want forgiveness.

He wanted access to the house without having to repair what he damaged inside it.

And sometimes this is what happens in relationships...

Someone hurts you, then becomes uncomfortable when the hurt changes you.

They want the old closeness.

The old trust.

The old version of you.

Without doing the work that would make those things feel safe again...

But trust doesn’t return because someone says...

“Can’t we just move on?”

Forgiveness isn’t repair.

An apology isn’t changed behavior.

And accountability isn’t saying sorry, it’s caring enough about the damage to help rebuild what was broken.

Because you can forgive someone and still notice the window is broken.

You can love someone and still need them to repair what they damaged...

And sometimes...

The reason things can’t “go back to normal” is because normal was where you kept getting hurt.

reddit.com
u/SolStar17 — 1 day ago
▲ 12 r/Divorce

Feeling stuck

I've wanted a divorce for years now. I just haven't been able to take the first step. I've been able to tolerate the situation for years and always said it was for the kids. Now that they're older, I think that was a mistake. Now I just feel trapped and can't even be myself in my own home.

The reality is that I know I would be happier on my own. Right now, I try to distance myself from my husband and because I can't stand the things he says, I keep to myself. Basically only hang out with the kids when he's away. It just feels so isolating.

I worry about his reaction. He will not want this. He's not a violent guy at all, but I think, what if he loses it? I just have all these thoughts. Don't know if it's best to just reach out to a lawyer first. Thinking about the house and the kids, it's just really overwhelming. I know I need to do something though. I can't keep living like this.

reddit.com
u/SolStar17 — 23 days ago

Anyone have days that you're ready to just say I'm done and walk out?

The other day I could just feel myself wanting to say, "I'm done and I want a divorce." Maybe if the kids were in school I would have. I just feel stuck and I want out so badly. Tired of walking on eggshells and I just want my freedom and some peace.

It just feels so overwhelming to go through the process of divorce that I can't take the first step. I've been reading a lot on the divorce sub, but I'm not sure it's helping or making it worse 😅 so I wanted to hear from this sub, especially those with APs.

Anyone else feeling stuck? Or if you did end up leaving, what finally pushed you to do it?

reddit.com
u/SolStar17 — 1 month ago