For instance, what I'm struggling with is the fact that I've never felt truly loved by anyone. I was with yet. I know exactly what it's like to truly love unconditionally, and not just say it, but show it every day. And in everything I do so that the appreciated every moment and I know that that love has got to feel amazing. It has to feel good to have someone love you that way. And I just want to know with that feeling like that. I wanna be loved the way I love even for just an hour or a day. Is that being still who give me the ask? I'm starting to think that maybe I just don't deserve it. That's why I ever felt it. I have never had it.?
A little background on me. I'm 49 years old. I have been doing so much trauma in my life from a very young age. I grew up with just a mother, my dad committed suicide. My stepdad molested me, and i've never had a relationship with any god who has not put his hands on me, or who has not mentally and physically tried to break me.But I made it through all that, and i'm okay, i've come to peace with that.My problem is this.I know how it feels to deeply love someone.And to show them that love to make them feel special to let them know that their love is they never have to question that to let them know that they're appreciated.But I have never had that return to me.And it's something I want.So so bad, even if it's for 1 day even just 1 hour, I want to know that feeling cause I know it's got to be amazing. And I know god is love.He's the meaning of love.And I will feel his love tangibly feel his love when I get to heaven but I want to know what that feels like coming from a man that I love, you know on earth.I don't know why this is so important to me. It may be stupid, but this is how I feel. This is my honest feelings, and I'm just looking for someone to you. Help me this engaging conversation.Help me to understand because i'm starting to feel as though i'm not able or i'm not worthy of the love back and I don't wanna feel that way anymore so please feel free to join me in this conversation. Make anything I'm open to criticism. I'm open to anything I just knew. I just need some friends to help me get through this and I'm you on here. So I'm not sure how it works, but I'm trying