u/Song_Listener_

The a-spec communities see friendship as super important. Isn't a QPR a way to say 'friendship is cheaper then romance, so we'll find a way to make a structure equevelent to romance and dating and better then friendship'?

Or is it saying this: 'friends who are super close, but calling it in a defined name to signify the non-normativity of the relationship, where it's deeper then a typical friendship and there may be things in the friendship that are more commonly associated with romantic relationships/marriage, such as having a commitment to each other that the'yll be there for each other, great comfort and ease, sleeping in the same bed, sex, dealing with bureacracy, deep love...'

But... doesn't a qpr make your other friends less important? If you're a-spec doesn't that mean you prioritize friends?

Or is it because a-spec people can have squishes and those can be as important as crushes? Then wouldn't they take upp the same space as a romantic partner? Aren't they the same problems as allo coupes?

Asking genuinly, trying to understand.

Also wanted to know, what's a queerplatonic crush? Is it real? I had squishes in the past but now I have a squish different then all the rest. I wondered if it's romantic, because I sorta want to marry and be partners with my friend and I've never wanted that before. But is it maybe platonic? Knowing my squish is possibly aroace calmed me too, that if we ever married it would definitly be platonic. Currently I wouldn't want to be partners with my squish, I'd want to be incredibly close friends, intimate, close enough to be considered family, maybe.

Advice anyone? Wasn't sure what tag to put, quesrion or advice.

Hi,
I have a squish on a friend, I really really really want to be super close friends and feel super comfortable around each other and be able to talk to them without feeling anxiety about messages or that I'm overwhlming them because I'm obssesed with them and maybe that overwhelms them cuz neurodivergence. I want to get to a level of ease I have with my best friends.

Also I'm somewhat worried my squish is a crush because when I see them I feel a fluttery excited jolty feeling that in books is associated with a crush. Pretty sure I'm asexual, though (still have doubts though).

Another thing that makes me worry it's a crush is because I sorta want or would be ok potentially with marrying them, like, I like them to a degree and feel we're compatible that I'd sorta want to marry them. I know we aroaces can marry and it be friendship, but the possibility of a crush terrifies me. I hate that.

Out of all the people I hyperfixated on in the past, they are the only one I felt a want to be... partnered? married? not exactly cuz I don't wanna get married now and feel too young, but feel like our values are similar and if I got married in a hetro-looking marriage, they are the type of person and are a person I'd want to marry.

And also I really want their family to be my family. I just love their family and their values and just want to be part of it, I wish for it.

Also I think my friend is beautiful and can't stop looking at them, also because I just really really like them as a person and the squish enhances that. I like looking at people I like, I think I do that a lot more when I have a squish, like their beauty is highlighted when I have a squish.

Also, where we see each other there is a religious enviorment and when I see them there I constantly think anxiously about how maybe I'm actually crushing on my friend and romatic norms and what if the enviorment notices my awkward behaivior and constant looking and anxiety and thinks I'm crushing on them?

Help please, it's all so complicated and I hate that. Why can't getting close friendships be easier, without me hurting even when I know the friend likes me but doesn't have energy to talk?

Do I tell them I'm hyperfixated? In neurodivergent spaces that's more accepted, but maybe still is creepy and would overwhelm them?

Does this seem greyromantic? What am I?