how do i become an adult

I moved back in with my mom at 23 after couch surfing for 11 years. Yes, your math is correct. I was 12 years old when i decided to leave my mom, step dad, and sisters to move in with my dad across the state. Of course what i didn’t know is that my dad was living in his friends house with, my step mom, my half brother and sister, my step grand parents, and of course my dads friend. Let’s call him, Carl. The house was very old and wasn’t well maintained. The water would stop working randomly and there was no air conditioning but we made it work. Carl was also a hoarder, and kept his late wife’s things even though she had been gone long before we knew him. I shared a room with my little siblings in a room upstairs. It was filled to the brim with boxes. I slept on a variety of air mattresses. There was a real mattress in there but it was filled with bed bugs. I had to keep my clothes in garbage bags which may have worked if the mice didn’t chew through them. You may be wondering at this point why i didn’t go back to my mom. Bc somehow despite being poorer then id ever been, i was happy there. My mom made me miserable. I can’t remember a lot of things about my childhood but i remember how i felt. My dad really wasn’t much better, but he let me be myself and he didn’t make me feel small when i made a mistake. I grew up there living in poverty among a marginally wealthy class of people. All my friends were upper middle class and i got to indulge in some of their privileges when i stayed at their houses, which i tried to do as often as possible. I dropped out of school my senior year, which was 2020. That’s when the couch surfing started. I stay in my friend’s house for almost 6 months before his parents even realized i was living there. They kindly asked me to go somewhere else obviously. I didn’t blame them. They didn’t know my situation and it wasn’t their problem. I went to another friends house and with his parents permission shared his room for 6 or 7 months. I lived off taco bell and whatever food his parents were willing to share. Eventually they also asked me to leave as it was too expensive to have me there. They were nice people but i wasn’t their problem either. Then after a minor stay at carls house i moved in with my best friends family. I had spent most of my time with them and they treated my like i was apart of the family. They even built me a room in the basement near my friend’s room. I stayed there for almost a year. Then ofcourse i had to move on to the next place. My other best friends house in a much nicer neighborhood. I had my own room with its own bathroom and closet. I cried many times in that room. I was so grateful to have my own bed. A closet to hang my clothes in. I was there for 3 years. But after spending most of that time working on music in a band i was in with for mentioned friend, they regrettably thought it best that i move out. They believed i had wasted time that i could’ve spent working and saving money to move out on my own. Which i totally agree with by the way. I was delusional to believe i could become successful in music without a real plan. That’s what led me back to my hometown-living with my mom again. I’ve lived here for a year now and i’ve been working consistently. I also recently started ged classes and am close to finishing that this fall. I think i’m finally starting to get my priorities straight. I have a huge knowledge gap in what i’m supposed to do to become a fully independent adult. I know this was a very long winded story that didn’t really go anywhere but I need advice on how to move forward. How to live on my own. Thank you for reading.

reddit.com
u/Sorry-Machine1324 — 1 month ago

How do i become an adult

I moved back in with my mom at 23 after couch surfing for 11 years. Yes, your math is correct. I was 12 years old when i decided to leave my mom, step dad, and sisters to move in with my dad across the state. Of course what i didn’t know is that my dad was living in his friends house with, my step mom, my half brother and sister, my step grand parents, and of course my dads friend. Let’s call him, Carl. The house was very old and wasn’t well maintained. The water would stop working randomly and there was no air conditioning but we made it work. Carl was also a hoarder, and kept his late wife’s things even though she had been gone long before we knew him. I shared a room with my little siblings in a room upstairs. It was filled to the brim with boxes. I slept on a variety of air mattresses. There was a real mattress in there but it was filled with bed bugs. I had to keep my clothes in garbage bags which may have worked if the mice didn’t chew through them. You may be wondering at this point why i didn’t go back to my mom. Bc somehow despite being poorer then id ever been, i was happy there. My mom made me miserable. I can’t remember a lot of things about my childhood but i remember how i felt. My dad really wasn’t much better, but he let me be myself and he didn’t make me feel small when i made a mistake. I grew up there living in poverty among a marginally wealthy class of people. All my friends were upper middle class and i got to indulge in some of their privileges when i stayed at their houses, which i tried to do as often as possible. I dropped out of school my senior year, which was 2020. That’s when the couch surfing started. I stay in my friend’s house for almost 6 months before his parents even realized i was living there. They kindly asked me to go somewhere else obviously. I didn’t blame them. They didn’t know my situation and it wasn’t their problem. I went to another friends house and with his parents permission shared his room for 6 or 7 months. I lived off taco bell and whatever food his parents were willing to share. Eventually they also asked me to leave as it was too expensive to have me there. They were nice people but i wasn’t their problem either. Then after a minor stay at carls house i moved in with my best friends family. I had spent most of my time with them and they treated my like i was apart of the family. They even built me a room in the basement near my friend’s room. I stayed there for almost a year. Then ofcourse i had to move on to the next place. My other best friends house in a much nicer neighborhood. I had my own room with its own bathroom and closet. I cried many times in that room. I was so grateful to have my own bed. A closet to hang my clothes in. I was there for 3 years. But after spending most of that time working on music in a band i was in with for mentioned friend, they regrettably thought it best that i move out. They believed i had wasted time that i could’ve spent working and saving money to move out on my own. Which i totally agree with by the way. I was delusional to believe i could become successful in music without a real plan. That’s what led me back to my hometown-living with my mom again. I’ve lived here for a year now and i’ve been working consistently. I also recently started ged classes and am close to finishing that this fall. I think i’m finally starting to get my priorities straight. I have a huge knowledge gap in what i’m supposed to do to become a fully independent adult. I know this was a very long winded story that didn’t really go anywhere but I need advice on how to move forward. How to live on my own. Thank you for reading.

reddit.com
u/Sorry-Machine1324 — 1 month ago