u/SoulnProgress

I'm an international student (Indian) and I genuinely feel like I'm watching college happen through a glass wall.
My classmates are reserved, clubs are limited, and the ones that exist are mostly with other international students, which is great for experiencing different cultures but it also means I'm never really around Americans or learning how to exist in that world.

Sororities feel completely out of reach both financially and culturally. I didn't grow up with the same references, shows, humor, inside jokes. I don't know how to just fit in the way people who grew up here do.

And the worst part is time is passing. I'm not a freshman anymore. I’m a junior. I feel like I missed windows I can't reopen.

Did anyone else feel this way? Does it get better or did you just accept it?

I seriously need some perspective because I’m sick of my own mindset.

I’m 19F. I’m an international student studying in the US. There are these people I’m on bad terms with. They’re a couple in US(age 27 and 29). We had a big fight, and honestly, both sides made mistakes. I wasn’t completely innocent either. But I still have a lot of resentment towards them.

They’re wealthy and are having a baby in the US, so their child will have US citizenship. I’ve always wished I had been born in America, experienced American culture, and sometimes I’ve even wished I had been born as a white girl. Those thoughts have been with me for years.

The weird thing is, I don’t feel this way about every immigrant or every kid born in America. Thousands of people have those opportunities and I don’t obsess over them. But with these specific people, I can’t stand the thought of their lives getting even better.

It’s not really about the unborn baby itself. I know that sounds ridiculous. It’s more that I hate the idea of them “winning” and maybe looking at me like they’re above me or thinking their life turned out better than mine.

I know some of this is probably in my head, and I know life isn’t a competition, but emotionally I still feel jealous and resentful. I honestly don’t want them to have a great life, and I know that’s not a nice thing to admit.

I’ve struggled with comparison and envy for years, and I’m tired of feeling this way. I don’t enjoy being consumed by other people’s success, especially people I dislike.

All these negative emotions or comparisons are specifically only towards people I dislike!

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How do you stop feeling like someone else’s happiness or success means you’re somehow losing?