Any advice would you bring after a disastrous football trial?
I’ve only been playing football seriously for about 6 months. I recently went for a trial at a local club (Gloucester City AFC). It was a disaster. I’ve been struggling with depression and performance anxiety for about four years, and as soon as the session started, I just froze. My touch was heavy, I was slow, and I ended up crying afterward because I knew I didn’t show even 10% of what I can do.
The "Phase 2" roster comes out tomorrow. I’m 99% sure I’m not on it. I feel like I’m "behind in life" because most kids started at age 5, and I feel like I’m "designed for failure."
To make it worse, my home life is harsh. My parents are stubborn and unkind; they call me "dumb" or "delusional" when I struggle. I feel like a slave to this cycle of trying and failing, and I’m terrified that AI or the economy means I’ll never have a future anyway.
Why am I sharing this? I think I’m posting this because I need a reality check. When your own parents are unkind, you lose track of what’s actually "normal." I’m trying to see if there’s a path for someone who starts this late and has a "broken" mindset, or if the world is really as harsh as it feels right now. I’m looking for a "team" of people who actually understand the game and the pressure, because I don't have that at home.
- Has anyone else dealt with performance anxiety this bad during trials?
- If I don't make Phase 2, is a Development Centre actually worth it, or am I just wasting my time?
- How do you keep playing when you feel like you have nothing in your favor?
I just want to know if it’s possible to fix this, or if I’m just not meant for it.
