u/Special-Occasion4896

I [19 turning 20, F] have come out thrice in my life... When I was in middle school, I came out as bisexual, assuming that I would like male and females the same way. Over time, when I got older, I realized that, I would much rather prefer to be with a female, I have dated a guy both online and in person and it just didn't feel right. But oddly enough, I am still attracted to men. When I reached high school sophomore year I came out as lesbian, but the attraction to a certain type of men threw me completely off balance. So junior year of high school, I came out again as pansexual and I have been adamant about being pansexual for the longest time. Except whenever I give the man a chance, I can't seem to cross any line past holding his hand. I can't see myself being with a man, sexual, or romantic. I can't see myself getting married to a man in the future, settling down and having kids with a man, but I can always see myself being with another woman, any woman. And now I'm not so sure if I like men or if I just like masculinity. Does anyone have any advice for me or any guesses on what I could possibly be?

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So my ex (18, F) and I (19, F) have been on and off for a minute, and it's not like we were actually getting back into a relationship and then breaking up again and again. I've asked her multiple times, "Why don't you just come back to me, or just be mine again?" And remind you, she cheated on me, and I'm giving her another shot, but she tells me that she doesn't want to get back into a relationship because she doesn't even forgive herself for what she did to me, whatever.

Eventually, you know, I've been waiting for so fucking long, I'm starting to really think, like, this girl doesn't want anything real. But then she gets to asking, "What the hell are we?" As if I know.

So now I'm talking to this new girl, and obviously I would have to make sure that if things get serious, I don't want to be still hung up on this girl who doesn't even want to be with me for real.

So I tried to text her yesterday, and she was just brushing me off, being mad dry. She wasn't texting me back for real unless it was just one-word answers, so I blocked her. Then she started calling me, snapping me on every fucking thing else she had me on, asking me why I blocked her and a whole bunch of other bullshit that I don't understand, and it's all very fucking confusing to me.