i’m 16 and i have so much wrong with me
hi guys, i’m 16 and i’ve been addicted to this kind of stuff since i was probably about nine years old so as you can imagine ive grown to be obsessed with it as much as i hate it, it started out small with porn and stuff but when i got to be 13 i needed more, but i also wanted love, after obviously not finding it i gave up and just wanted sex, so i started going on snapchat and adding girls to try and get n*des and do other disgusting shit, , it’s completely torn my life apart and ive hated myself for the past three or four years of my life, i want to be rid of this horrible disease but it feels like its so deeply ingrained in my soul that i can’t get it out, last year though, i stopped, i met this girl, she was the loml, she was my first time for everything and it felt like she genuinely understood me, but she couldn’t trust anything i said because her ex would say the same things, and he cheated on her all the time, i miss her so much and have no idea what to do, after what happened i can’t fall in love with anybody even though it’s been a whole year, after what happened, i completely gave up on love as much as i didnt want to, i only wanted sex from then on, i dated a girl just for sex and i think my ex that i was still rlly in love with found out, i was so mad at the whole situation that i told one of my exes friends that she was an evil person and that she shouldn’t be friends with her, for the longest time i told myself the lie that she was evil and that i could do no wrong which was really dumb, sometimes after we broke up we would talk and ask eachother how we’re doing but it hurt to talk to her, so we promised to talk again on my birthday, which she ended up ghosting me on probably bc of everything i said to her friend, i don’t know what to do i still love her so much and i still add girls for sex stuff, please help me.