u/Specialist-System957

if anyone genuinely wanna help pls try to read the whole text however i tried to keep it short thanku

so yea i had a breakup 1 month ago.....she said it wasnt working out...i was busy due to my exams and i even told her that i wont be able to give her much time we often had arguements and some of them were bcoz of me.....but when my exams ended and everything was going well....she suddenly broke up in the middle of normal convo where i was telling her that i had planned a surprise for her birthday...we were still in touch for 1-2 weeks but then she sent me a msg saying that she feels everything is fake and all and i asked her why did she say i love you a day ago if everything was fake....she being an avoidant person tried to end the convo by saying somethings which were hurtful however.....she didnt give me a closure and said "jo sochna h socho" that triggered my traumatic past and i told her that is exactly what my ex said....ik i was wrong that time and i took my accountability...i sent her a msg telling her that i respect her decision of not staying with me but i never wanted her to compare or make her insecure i sent a long text explaining and taking accountability as one last time and didnt msg her again after 4 days she sent a msg saying that she is very disappointed with what i told her last time and misunderstood my text i kept on explaining her that she misunderstood my text that wasnt my intention however i kept trying kept holding her but i realised i cannot control someones feelings and i just....

however at the end she just unfollowed me from everywhere and after some time i dunno why she blocked me prolly bcoz of my reels account im assuming as i upload some poetries and my writings over there so it might came across her feed but i remember that when we talked last time she didnt see my msg it was on sent and after 2 weeks she saw that msg and then blocked me i dunno why it was random and the fun thing was i had a dream bout her before all this happened.....yesterday i again had a dream where i was back with her again but i dared not to check my insta again... i still miss her a lot i still want to talk to her and i want everything back i still see her handmade gifts and wonder if she also has my gifts with her the shawl i brought for her the soft toy we named "poplu" and im going through a very tough phase of my life...its not just her...even the exams i worked hard for...i disappointed everyone in that too...i failed in every single thing and im still trying to get up without crying but im just too upset and sad rn...i still miss her i still have her pics.. itry to talk to new people and interact but its not filling the gap

edit: i have 2 active accounts one is for reels and one is my private she blocked all of them maybe they all had same number so insta has this feature of blocking alt accounts automatically