Am I reading too much into this gym friendship, or did I do the right thing by stepping back?
I (30F) joined a gym a few months ago and became friends with a group there. One guy (let’s call him P) gradually became someone I liked.
Over time, there were a lot of interactions that made me feel there might be something more. He would drop me home sometimes, joke with me, talk about going on a trip, ask for things casually (for example, jokingly asking me to buy him a shake when I was buying one for others), and we were generally comfortable around each other. His friends also repeatedly joked that I had a crush on him, related my Instagram stories to him, and teased us in front of everyone, even though I never openly admitted liking him.
At the same time, there were mixed signals. He once said he doesn’t usually message girls first. He never really initiated conversations outside the gym. If I didn’t ask him something, we could go without talking. I realized that most of our interactions happened because I was initiating them.
A few weeks ago, I started feeling emotionally exhausted because I was constantly overthinking every interaction. I decided to stop chasing the connection and started going to the gym at different times or taking a break from going at the same time.
During that break, other people from the group checked in and asked where I was. P didn’t message me once, even though he was active on Instagram and watching my stories. That hurt because I realized I was worried about hurting his feelings by becoming distant, while he didn’t seem worried enough to check in.
Recently I went back to the gym at the same timing. P and everyone else noticed that my energy had changed. P asked me if something had happened when a girl pointed this out to him because I seemed different. I just said I was okay because I didn’t want to dump my feelings on him when nothing had ever been defined between us.
Now I’m trying to protect my peace by not initiating conversations with him anymore. I’m still polite, I say hi and bye, but I don’t chase him or ask him for workouts like I used to and he also doesn’t guide me himself until I ask.
My questions are:
Does this sound like someone giving mixed signals, or was I simply reading too much into normal friendly behavior?
Did I do the right thing by stepping back instead of continuing to pursue him?
If you were in my position, would you continue treating him politely but stop initiating, or would you have an honest conversation with him?
I’m looking for objective opinions because I know I have feelings for him, so my perspective is probably biased.