Scene 1

Jessie: YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!

Woody: (yells)

Jessie: IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU!! IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU! IT'S REALLY YOU!!!

Woody: What's me?

Jessie: Whoo! Whee! [She throws Woody forward to pull his pull-string and puts her ear to his chest to listen to his voice box]

Woody's Voice Box: There's a snake in my boot!

Jessie: Ha! It is you! Finally, a real toy who knows what a kid is, instead of this mildewed old baseline over here! [She gestures toward a box in the corner]

Woody: Please, stop saying that. And who is "baseline"?

Jessie: The box-dweller! He said someday you'd come, assuming he didn't manifest you out of pure, stagnant boredom! Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln! Hey, Moldy Pete! Wake up, your meal ticket's here! [She whistles to the horse who runs over to the box, pushes out another box, and brings it to Woody and Jessie] Say hello to the self-appointed king of cardboard!

[Woody can only see the back of the box]

Woody: I-It's a box.

Jessie: He's mint in the box! Never been opened! Because God forbid he actually gets a speck of dust on his precious plastic whiskers!

Stinky Pete: [His plastic face twitches with immediate irritation] Turn me around, Bullseye. So I can see. [Bullseye pushes the box around and the front reveals a prospector toy inside it. The words "Stinky Pete the Prospector" are beneath him. He gasps when he sees Woody] Why, the prodigal son has returned.

Jessie: Yeah, yeah, don't get your cardboard inserts in a twist, Pete. Look, Woody, you're actually here!

Woody: [Woody strains himself free from Jessie's arms and stands] Okay. I'm officially freaked out now.

Stinky Pete: Oh! We've waited countless years for this day. It's good to see you, Woody.

Woody: Listen, I don't know wh... Hey. How do you know my name?

Jessie: Everyone knows your name, Woooo-dyyyy. You're the star of a show that apparently inspired Pete's lifelong commitment to sitting in his own packaging.

[Stinky Pete glares at Jessie, his jaw tightening in pure, Squidward-esque rage. Woody looks at them in utter confusion]

Stinky Pete: [Inhaling deeply to control his temper] Why, you don't know who you are, do you? Bullseye?

Scene 2

Woody: Wait, wait, wait, wait. What about the gold mine and the... [Bullseye lifts him onto the shelf Stinky Pete is on.] ...and the cute little critters and the dynamite? That was a great show! I mean, why cancel it?

Stinky Pete: Two words: Sput-nik. Once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys.

Woody: I know how that feels. But still, my own show, and look at all this stuff!

Jessie: Didn't you know? Why, you're valuable property! It's great for the ego, terrible for everything else.

Woody: Oh, I wish the guys could see this. (he sees a yo-yo which has his face on it) "Hey howdy hey!" That's me. I'm on a yo-yo. [He then sees a game that has his face smiling and some balls beside it] Oh! Hey, nice teeth. (he throws a ball at one of the teeth and knocks it out) And yet, still a good-lookin' guy. [He, Jessie and Bullseye laugh. Woody sees a bank game. He makes the Prospector model launch a coin to a Woody model's hand that puts it in a barrel] Oh! It's a bank! Cool! [He goes over to a bubble-blowing toy which has his face on it and his hat for pushing down to get the bubbles going] Wh-Wh-What do you? You push the hat. And out co... Oh, out come bubbles. Clever! [Jessie laughs while Bullseye pops a big bubble with his teeth] Oh, wow! Hey. What's this thing do? [He pushes down the spur with his boot and a toy snake pops out of it] (laughs) Ahaha, I get it: "There's a snake in my boot." Hey, Bullseye. Go long. Go long! [He shoots the snake out of the boot and Bullseye chases it, jumping onto a record player which starts playing it, making Bullseye going around on the record, sitting on it] A record player! Ha! Haven't seen one of these in ages. [He climbs up to join Bullseye on the record player and starts walking it in one place. Jessie walks over and laughs at his antics] Okay. Now. Slow. [He and Bullseye start walking slowly on the record, making Jessie laugh even more]

Jessie: Oh, that's funny, Bullseye!

Woody: [Woody pulls Jessie up on the record] Hop on! Cowgirl! Think fast! [He jumps over the needle and Jessie jumps over it too] Not bad.

Record Player: It's time for Woody's Roundup / He's the very best / He's the rootin'-est, tootin'-est-- [Jessie jumps forward on the needle with her hands and launches herself back onto the record]

Woody: (laughs) [He sets the dial to fast and the record speeds up with Woody, Jessie and Bullseye running on it]

Jessie: Oh! Hey, look at us! We actually look like a real set of toys! We could make a run for it!

Stinky Pete: Now it's on to the museum!

Woody: Museum?! [He stops running in surprise and slides into Jessie and Bullseye, knocking them and himself off the record and onto the table] What museum?

Stinky Pete: THE museum! We're being sold to the Konishi Toy Museum in Tokyo!

Jessie: [Her smile instantly vanishes, replaced by utter disgust] Yeah, a one-way trip to a glass coffin in Japan.

Woody: Japan? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I can't go to Japan.

Jessie: (hopeful) What do you mean? You don't want to go either?!

Woody: I gotta get back home to my owner. Andy. Hey. Look. Look. See? [He lifts his boot to show Andy's name written on the sole of it]

Jessie: (gasps, her eyes lighting up) He still has an owner! A real, living kid! Woody, you've gotta take us with you!

Stinky Pete: Oh, my goodness. Jessie, don't be absurd. We are a complete set now.

Jessie: Shut your cardboard flaps, Pete! I am not going to that museum to be stared at by sticky-fingered toddlers who can't even touch me! But... [She looks down at her hands, her face falling into profound sadness] Look at me. Al found me in a bargain bin and immediately had me "restored." Slathered that toxic, glossy museum paint all over my face. I'm decommissioned, Woody. One rough play session with a real kid, and this restoration paint will crack like an eggshell. I want to leave, but I can't... and I sure as heck ain't standing behind glass like a dead butterfly!

Stinky Pete: Jessie. Jessie. You are overreacting.

Jessie: (shaking his box frantically in despair) I won't go back in the dark storage, and I hate the museum! It's a lose-lose, you giant, suffocating paperweight!

Woody: Wh-What's the matter? What's wrong with her?

Stinky Pete: [Dizzily trying to right himself in his box, furious] She is defying our glorious destiny, Woody! Without you, the museum won't take us, and we go back into storage. It's that simple.

Jessie: It's not FAIR! Why did you have to show up just to make me think we had a chance?!

Woody: Hey. Look. I'm sorry. But, this is all a big mistake. You see, I was in this yard sale—

Stinky Pete: Yard sale? Why were you in a yard sale if you have an owner?

Woody: Well I wasn't supposed to be there. I was trying to save another toy when--

Stinky Pete: Was it because you're damaged? Hmm? Did this Andy break you?

Woody: Yeah, but... No. No. No. No! It was... It was an accident. I mean--

Jessie: [Defending Woody] Toys get broken when kids actually play with them, Pete! Not that you'd know anything about that, you glorified dust-magnet!

Woody: It's not like that! Okay?! And I'm not going to any museum!

Jessie: Well, I'm not going back into storage either! (gasps)

[Then they hear some footsteps outside the door coming toward the room]

Stinky Pete: Al's coming!

Woody: (gasps)

Stinky Pete: Go! Go on! Jessie!

[Jessie looks down at her box with utter hatred]

Jessie: Ohh! I hate this stupid cardboard prison!

Stinky Pete: Jessie. Look at me. Just get in the box!

Jessie: (glaring at Pete) If I get ink on my face from your cheap packaging, I'm using your pickaxe as a toothpick!

[Jessie closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and begrudgingly jumps into her box, followed by Stinky Pete and Bullseye while Woody runs to his glass cabinet just in time before Al enters the room, holding a camera whilst humming]

Scene 3

Woody: AAAAHH! It's gone! I can't believe it! My arm is completely gone!

Stinky Pete: All right. Come here. Come on. Let me see that. Oh. It's just a popped seam. Easily repaired. You should consider yourself lucky.

Woody: LUCKY?! Are you shrink-wrapped?! I am missing my arm!!

Jessie: [Horrified, looking at the ripped arm, then glaring fiercely at Pete] "Easily repaired"?! You mean decommissioned! Woody, don't let him touch you! If Al calls the Cleaner, you're finished! He'll slather you in that brittle, shiny museum gloss, and you'll never be able to play with Andy again! You'll be just like us—fragile, un-huggable museum garbage!

Stinky Pete: Why, Jessie, you know he wouldn't last an hour on the streets in his condition. It's a dangerous world out there for a toy. Pristine preservation is his only hope.

Jessie: Oh, save the lecture, Captain Cardboard. You just want your retirement home in Tokyo! [She angrily shoots a dart at Woody's poster stand-up, hitting it right in the forehead] Go ahead, Woody, run away before they turn you into a statue!

Scene 4

Woody: What is your problem?! Look, I'm sorry I can't take you guys with me right now. Really, I am. But you didn't have to go and pull a stunt like that.

Jessie: What? You think I turned on that TV? I want you to escape, you idiot! If you stay, we all end up behind glass!

Woody: Oh. Right, right. Yeah, the TV just happened to turn on. And the remote magically ended up in front of you!

Jessie: You callin' me a liar? I bet it was that smell-bag over there! [She points at Pete's box] He’s the only one who wants you trapped here!

Woody: Well, if the boot fits.

Jessie: [Dangerously] Say that again.

Woody: [Enunciating] If the booT. FitS.

Jessie: Okay, cowboy... [Bullseye hides in a Woody's Roundup cookie jar as Jessie lunges at Woody, entirely out of frustration, and begins to fight him] Take it back! I'm trying to help you get out of here, you direct-to-video reject! TAKE IT BACK!

Woody: Don't think just 'cause you're a girl! I'm gonna take it easy on ya! (yells)

Stinky Pete: Jessie! Woody! You stop this at once! Ohhhh! [He wobbles, and his box falls off the stand and face-first onto the cupboard floor]

[They reluctantly stop fighting and lift Stinky Pete's box up]

Jessie: Oh look, the oversized paperweight fell over. Need some safety scissors to get out of your packaging, Pete?

Stinky Pete: [His face turning red with rage, his voice trembling like Squidward] I do not appreciate your adolescent mockery, Jessie! I don't know how that television turned on, but fighting about it isn't helping anything.

Woody: If I had both my arms...

Stinky Pete: Well, the fact is, you don't, Woody. So I suggest you just wait until morning. The cleaner will come, fix your arm…

Woody: And then I'm outta here! [Bullseye lowers his head sadly by Woody] Oh. No. No, Bullseye. Don't take it that way. It's just that Andy...

Jessie: [Sighing heavily, her anger fading into deep sadness] Andy... I hope your kid really is worth it, Woody. Because once that cleaner gets his hands on you tomorrow... you might not have a choice anymore.

[She walks away, resting her arm on Bullseye, leaving Woody alone with sad sighs]

Scene 5

Woody: Oh, wow, would you look at me? It's like I'm fresh out of the box! Look at this stitching! Andy's gonna have a hard time ripping this! [He stops, noticing how stiff his arm feels. He touches his cheek and realizes it has a glossy, hard texture. He looks over to Jessie, who is staring out the window] Hello! H-hi! Hello!

Jessie: Great. Now you're one of us. Completely decommissioned. Touch your face, Woody—that's museum-grade gloss. You go back to Andy now, and one real hug will crack that finish right off. You're trapped. Just go. Run out the vent before Al packs us.

Woody: [Sarcastic, but secretly panicked as he rubs his painted face] Well, what a good idea.

[Woody looks toward the air vent which is his only way out. He feels something bump him and he turns back to see Bullseye looking at him sadly]

Stinky Pete: Woody. Don't be mad at Jessie. She's been through more than you know. Why not make amends before you leave, huh? It's the least you can do.

[Woody looks toward Jessie sitting on the windowsill, then back at Bullseye who looks at him as if to say "Please, Woody"]

Woody: (sighs) All right. But I don't know what good it'll do.

[He jumps from the table and goes over to Jessie, climbing onto the chair next to her and the window]

Woody: Hey. Whatcha doin' way up here?

Jessie: I thought I'd get one last look at the sun, before I get packed away into a dark crate, only to be put under fluorescent museum lights for the rest of eternity.

Woody: Look, Jessie. I know you're stuck, but I still want to go back. I'm still Andy's toy. Well, if you knew him, you'd understand. You see, Andy's a...

Jessie: Let me guess. Andy's a real special kid. And to him you're his buddy, his best friend. And when Andy plays with you, it's, like, even though you're not moving, you feel like you're alive. Because, that's how he sees you.

Woody: Whoa. How did you know that?

Jessie: Because Emily was just the same. She was my whole world. But the day Al bought me from that yard sale, he didn't even hesitate. He brought me here, scraped off my dust, and painted me into a fragile statue. I wanted to run, but I knew I couldn't. A toy that can't be played with isn't a toy anymore. It's just... property. I hate that museum, Woody. I hate it. But look at us. We're just broken versions of what we used to be. You never forget kids like Emily. Or Andy. (whispers) But they forget you.

Woody: Jessie, I… I didn't know.

Jessie: Just go. Go while your joints still move.

[Woody gets off the windowsill, deeply shaken. He walks over to the air vent, unscrews the bolt, and opens the cover. He looks at his stiff, painted hand, Jessie's words echoing in his head: "A toy that can't be played with isn't a toy anymore."]

Stinky Pete: How long will it last, Woody? Do you really think Andy is gonna take you to college or on his honeymoon? Andy's growing up, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's your choice, Woody. You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever. You'll be adored by children for generations.

[Woody completely ignores the Prospector's words about Andy growing up, but he looks back at Jessie's slumped, hopeless shoulders. He looks at his own restored, fragile arm. A wave of guilt and reality hits him—he thinks he can't leave because the restoration has fundamentally changed him, and he can't bear to abandon them to this fate alone.]

Woody: Who am I to break up the Roundup gang?

[Bullseye and Stinky Pete smile at this decision as Woody shuts the grille. The sound catches Jessie's attention and she looks toward Woody. He gives her a sad, reassuring smile, showing he's staying. Jessie hates the museum, but she gives him a soft, deeply appreciative smile in return, grateful that she isn't being abandoned in the dark.]

Scene 6

Stinky Pete: Ha-ha! That's custom-fitted foam insulation you'll be ridin' in, Bullseye! First class all the way to Tokyo!

Jessie: [Scoffs loudly, rolling her eyes] Oh boy, custom foam insulation. Truly the pinnacle of a toy's life. I can't wait to be suffocated by packing peanuts while you drool over your display case, Pete.

Woody: [Sighing heavily, looking miserably at his glossy boots] You know what? I'm... trying to be excited about this. I mean it. I really am. What choice do I have?

Stinky Pete: And, why shouldn't you be? We are going to be preserved for generations!

Jessie: Yeah, preserved like a pickled cucumber. You're already halfway there, Stinky. You won't even need the formaldehyde.

Stinky Pete: [His eye twitches violently, his voice rising in sheer, exasperated rage] I am a cultured, mint-condition collectible, Jessie! Not a pickled vegetable!

Woody: (forced laugh, trying to ease the tension) Come on, Jessie... let's just make the best of a bad situation. Swing your partner! Do-si-do! Look at us, dancing cowboys...

Jessie: [Steps along half-heartedly, mocking the situation] Look at us, Bullseye! The depression cowgirl and the ruined sheriff! Pete, look! We're doing the 'wishing we were anywhere else' step!

Stinky Pete: [Stomping his foot inside his box, furious] Hmph! Well, I'm doing the box step! It is perfectly safe, perfectly enclosed, and completely devoid of your insufferable commentary! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Scene 7

Buzz Lightyear: Woody, you're in danger here. We need to leave now.

Rex: Al's selling you to a toy museum in Japan!

Woody: I know. It's okay, Buzz. I... I have to go.

Rex: What?

Mr. Potato Head: Are you crazy?

Woody: Look, the thing is, I'm a rare Sheriff Woody doll, and these guys are my Roundup gang.

Buzz Lightyear: Woody, what are you talking about?

Woody: What am I talking about? Woody's Roundup! Oh, it's this great old TV show and I was the star. [He uses his boot to press the remote to turn on the TV which plays Woody's Roundup with footage of Woody riding Bullseye] See? Now look. Look! Look at me! See? That's me!

Hamm: This is weirding me out.

Woody: Buzz, it was a national phenomenon. But look at me! I've been restored! I'm decommissioned, Buzz! The paint on my face, the new stitching... I'm too fragile for a kid now. One bad tumble in Andy's room and I'll crack right open.

Mr. Potato Head: "Cracked"?

Buzz Lightyear: Woody, stop this nonsense and let's go!

Woody: Ah, Buzz... [sighs] I can't go. I can't abandon these guys. Without me, they'll go back into storage, maybe forever. And I can't go back to Andy like a fragile porcelain doll.

Buzz Lightyear: Woody, you're not a collector's item. You're a child's plaything. You... are... a toy!

Woody: For how much longer?! I'm already painted over, Buzz! You tell me how a kid plays with a statue!

Buzz Lightyear: Somewhere in that pad of stuffing is a toy who taught me that life's only worth living if you're being loved by a kid. And I traveled all this way to rescue that toy, because I believed him.

Woody: Well, you wasted your time. [Woody turns his back on Buzz. Jessie watches from the background, her heart breaking because she desperately wants to go with Buzz, but feels entirely trapped by her decommissioning]

Buzz Lightyear: Let's go, everyone.

Slinky: What about Woody?

Buzz Lightyear: He's not coming with us. [Buzz walks very upset to the vent]

Rex: But... but Andy's coming home tonight.

Buzz Lightyear: Then we'd better make sure we're there waiting for him. [The toys and Utility Belt Buzz enter the vent. Slinky takes a sad look at Woody before entering. Woody cringes. It's the same look Slinky gave him when he thought Buzz was really killed. Woody looks toward Buzz]

Woody: I don't have a choice, Buzz. This is my only chance.

Buzz Lightyear: To do what, Woody? Watch kids from behind glass and never be loved again? Some life.

Scene 8

[Woody stands frozen, Buzz's words piercing through him. He looks at his painted hand, then at the vent, and finally snaps. He realizes being broken and loved is better than being pristine and isolated.]

Woody: Hey, you guys. Come with me! Screw the paint, Andy will love us anyway!

Jessie: [Her jaw drops, her eyes wide with sudden, overwhelming hope] What?! Truly?! You mean it?!

Woody: Andy will play with all of us! I know it!

Jessie: Woody, I-I... I don't know. My face... what if I break?

Woody: Wouldn't you give anything just to have one more day with a kid? Come on, Jessie. This is what it's all about, to make a child happy, even if we're fragile! Let's risk it! Bullseye? Are you with me? [Bullseye happily licks his face] Okay. Good boy. Alright! Prospector, how 'bout you? [As he turns the box around, he finds it is empty]

[Then they hear a loud, metallic clang, and they turn to see Stinky Pete aggressively jamming his pickaxe into the vent shaft, screwing it shut. Woody, Bullseye, and Jessie gasp in shock]

Jessie: Prospector?! You miserable, cardboard-bound fun-sponge!

Woody: You're outta your box!

Stinky Pete: I tried reasoning with you, Woody. But you kept forcing me to take extreme measures. [He walks over to the remote and uses his pickaxe to smash the power button, turning the TV off. Woody's eyes widen as he puts the pieces together]

Woody: Wait a minute... you turned on the TV last night, not Jessie!

Jessie: I knew it! You foul-smelling piece of over-priced packaging! I told you, Woody! He framed me!

Stinky Pete: Look, we have an eternity to spend together in the museum. Let's not start by pointing fingers, shall we?

Woody: You really are Stinky Pete, aren't you?!

Jessie: Prospector, this isn't fair! You're trapping us in a glass tomb just because nobody ever wanted to buy your ugly mug at the dime store!

[Upon hearing Jessie's insult, Stinky Pete completely loses his mind. His face turns bright red, his voice cracking into a high-pitched, furious scream]

Stinky Pete: "FAIR"?! I'll tell you what's not fair: Spending a lifetime on a dime-store shelf watching every other toy be sold! Well, finally my waiting has paid off, and no hand-me-down cowboy doll or loud-mouthed, insulting cowgirl is gonna mess it up for me now! [He furiously lifts his box and tosses it into the black foam insulation]