u/Square-Airline-3919

I'm a 31M I've been in a relationship with a female now for about a month. We have tried to have sex maybe 3 times now, but I'm having trouble staying hard. I get hard easily when we start kissing, touching and thinking about having sex with her, but as soon as I have to put it in - I have problems. I was nervous about getting into a relationship because I had previous heavy porn use and like other men doing the death grip. Masturbating on my own would take a while and be difficult. I also have major issues with anxiety, I get very tense in my muscles and uncomfortable when masturbating. She knows I have some issues coming from reliance on masturbation and death grip, but she does not know about the anxiety - which I'm not that comfortable talking about. Atm I've pretty much stopped watching porn and reduced masturbating mostly, planning to stop doing both completely now. I'm also working on the anxiety, but it's hard to know how much time that will take to get better. Any tips or advice?? has anyone had similar issues and been able to solve it, how long did it take?

I'm a 31M I've been in a relationship with a female now for about a month. We have tried to have sex maybe 3 times now, but I'm having trouble staying hard. It's strange because I get hard very quickly when we start kissing, touching and thinking about having sex with her, but as soon as I have to put it in - I can barely stay hard. I was nervous about getting into a relationship because I had previous heavy porn use and like other men doing the death grip. Even just masturbating would take a while and be difficult. I also know I have major issues with anxiety, just with masturbating on my own I get very tense. I have background thoughts in my head with sex, where 'I'm thinking am I going to stay hard' 'she will think I don't know what I'm doing and that I'm loser etc'. She knows I have some issues coming from relying on masturbation and death grip, but she does not know about the anxiety - which I'm not that comfortable talking about. Atm I've pretty much stopped watching porn and reduced masturbating significantly, planning to stop doing both completely now. I'm also working on the anxiety, but it's a lot harder to know how long that will take to get better. Any tips or advice?? would be appreciated