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Context: Hello, I practice mindfulness of breath ~45min every morning, along with daily walking meditation. My practice has recently become less effortful, and I can reach a deep focus. Whenever I meditate, I feel energy and pleasant sensations rising together, usually within first five breaths -- I've only recently been able to tell the two apart, seeing one arise separately from the other. These same sensations appear outside of meditation, when my concentration/awareness are strong.

Situation: Last Sunday, I had a rare day free of obligations, so after seated meditation I went for a long walk. My concentration was unusually strong, to the point that when I stopped at red lights and exclusively attended my breath, I immediately fell into a deep concentrated state. The practice was so effortless and rewarding that I continued it, and after walking 2hrs, I took a train, and my mind was so calm that I immediately resumed seated meditation for the duration of my trip, after which I resumed walking meditation, etc. I spent over 5hrs in near-continuous meditation, a first by a long shot - and I felt a tremendous amount of energy (almost like I was overcaffeinated, but pleasantly), far fewer discursive thoughts, great joy.

The next day (yesterday), I woke up and did my seated meditation. While I reached a deep state, I felt little energy arising and almost no pleasure. It was strange. I did some walking meditation later in the day, and felt more energy and limited joy, but just a hint, despite strong mindfulness. This morning, I woke up and feeling calm and ready, I did seated meditation. I felt some pleasure, perhaps a little more than yesterday, but it was very limited, although the energy was stronger and I felt it start to build. My concentration was strong, and I was able to reach a state where my breath fell off, and my heart beat wasn't accessible for some reason, so I searched for an object for my attention. Usually this is blankets of pleasant feelings settling in my body, but today only the tiniest wisps of pleasant came and went, and I maintained mindfulness without a reliable object until my breath slowly returned. I did mindful walking afterwards, and felt strong energy building, but almost no pleasure.

Question: Has anyone experienced this near absence of pleasure before? What do you do with this? I don't believe I should judge the experience, yet I'll be transparent and say I'm not enjoying it. I felt unsettled after seated meditation, as if it were borrowing a body. (I don't want to overstate this as a non-dual insight, just an unpleasant feeling.) I'm considering taking a couple days off, or just practicing walking meditation.

I'm in the process of finding a teacher, have reached and and am awaiting responses. Thanks!

Hello! :) I started meditation in zen tradition, with attention on the breath exclusively grounded in belly. Recently, as I started TMI, I shifted to the nose - I found I can identify stronger textures there, and sharpen my attention.

The last couple sessions, as I found subtle dullness growing in my practice (the sensations in the nose grew dull, and trying to sharpen my attention on them yielded limited benefit), and I shifted my focus down to my belly. I found it shocked my mind out of dullness, and helped me recenter my focus. (I also find my awareness stronger in my belly -- I'm more aware of my entire body -- and my attention stronger in my nose.)

The last couple sessions, I shifted a few times each -- as dullness grew, shift to stomach, then later return to nose to develop sharper attention.

Note: this is very different from body scanning, because I'm not proactively planning on shifting to develop awareness. Instead, I'm reactively shifting to deal with subtle dullness.

Question: is this a skillful way to make my practice more enjoyable, and to shake off subtle dullness? Or is it a pattern that can hold me back? I.e., am I avoiding a skill the comes with maintaining my focus in my nose regardless of dullness if I shift my focus to my belly a few times in every session?

Thanks!

Hello everyone, very grateful to discover this community and looking forward to learning and growing with you. I've been an on & off meditator for a while. I recently finished "Why Buddhism is True" (Robert Wright), and resolved to have a daily practice. I stumbled upon TMI shortly afterwards, while on a three-week vacation.

When I started the TMI framework, I was Stage 3 - a little forgetting. Within the next couple weeks (still on vacation), I progress fairly linearly to stage 5, in which forgetting was gone and I'd catch gross distractions as they arise, and my main opportunity was sharpening my focus throughout my session (subtle dullness). I started to feel stronger sensations of meditative joy, and the benefits spilled into my non-cushion life. (More equanimity, more patience, less restlessness.)

I bet many of you see where this is going. ;)

I returned home, and returned to work this week, still fairly jet lagged. Still, I felt quite alert and joyful in the early morning, when I prefer to meditate. However, I found the my concentration is not nearly as strong, and my power of attention has likewise weakened. I'm more impacted by strong distractions, and have even experienced forgetting a couple times. During my meditation, my mind turned to work several times.

The TMI book clearly states that progress isn't linear; regardless, I felt disappointment that my progress wouldn't be as rapid and linear as I initially experienced. This led me to an important realization: I was attaching to my progress, which seems like a form of clinging to the self. ("I" am improving "my" concentration and awareness.) But what I am experiencing this week is that when the conditions are "right", my concentration and attention are strong; and other times, they are not as strong.

While I still feel some disappointment, I believe this is for the good of my practice. I am hoping to uncover and investigate these "conditions" more. I'd love to hear about your experiences, and what growth is like when progress isn't linear.

Thanks everyone!