u/StatusLand2286

I genuinely hate “shadowing interviews” and I think they are one of the weirdest hiring practices that have somehow become increasingly common.
If you want to explain the job to me, cool. If you want me to sit with an employee and watch ONE interaction so I can get a feel for the position, totally fine. But asking someone to come in and sit there for 4 to 6 HOURS shadowing an employee before you’ve even decided whether you’re hiring them? Absolutely not.
I actually had this happen to me about 4 years ago.
I was at the dentist and they told me I should apply to be a receptionist there after I finished school for the day. I thought, cool, sounds like a good opportunity.
I applied, got a call, and they scheduled me for a “shadowing interview.”
It was a 6-hour shift.
Not exaggerating. Six. Hours.
At the time, I was young and dumb, so I went along with it. I figured, “Okay, I guess this is just how interviews work.”
I sat there and shadowed this employee. By about hour 2, I had pretty much gotten the gist of the job.
At one point, the employee I was shadowing said she was going on break and asked me to take over.
I was literally like, “Uh… okay??”
So now I’m actually doing the job.
I stayed for the entire 6 hours. THEN, at the end of my SIX-HOUR “SHADOWING INTERVIEW,” I finally had an interview with the actual manager.
And what did she tell me?
They couldn’t work with my school schedule.🙂
Mind you, I had already told them I was in school. I wasn’t hiding it. I was completely upfront about my schedule.
Also, I had finished my credits early in high school and was getting out around 9:30 AM. I literally showed up to this interview at 10 AM that day.
So you had me spend SIX HOURS there doing the job just to tell me at the very end that my schedule didn’t work?
At that point I kind of lost it. I basically told them they needed to pay me because the entire process felt completely messed up.
And they actually ended up having me fill out paperwork and paid me $50 for the 6 hours.
So yeah… that experience permanently ruined “shadowing interviews” for me.
And yes, I switched dentists. 😂
Since then, I’ve noticed these types of interviews becoming more and more common around me. Jobs want you to come in for 4 to 5 hours, sometimes longer, “just to shadow” before they’ll make a decision.
And I’m sorry, but what exactly are we learning in hour 5 that we didn’t learn in hour 1?
If you want me to understand the workflow, explain it to me.
If you want to know whether I’m capable of doing the job, interview me.
But making someone sit there for half a workday or basically work alongside an employee before you’ve even decided whether you’re going to hire them feels ridiculous.
And now, years later, I STILL hate them.
I recently had an interview where I was told there would be a 45-minute shadowing portion. Cool, whatever.
That 45 minutes turned into 1.5 HOURS.
Then the following week, they wanted me to come back and “try” another position they were considering me for.
Another 45-minute shadow.
And honestly, it just reinforced how much I hate this whole system.
Maybe I’m being dramatic, but after my first experience, I have avoided jobs that do this like the plague because I genuinely don’t want to feel like I’m being used as free labor again.
And the funniest part?
I’m going into HR.
I genuinely do not want to work for a company that thinks making candidates spend hours “shadowing” before they’ve even been hired is a good hiring practice.
Explain the job. Let me ask questions. Let me observe something briefly if it’s actually necessary. Then interview me and make a decision.
I promise you don’t need 6 hours to figure out if I’m qualified. 😭

I had probably one of the strangest job interview experiences today and I’m still kind of confused by it.
I applied on Indeed for a sales position at a small, family-owned logistics company near me. The position honestly seemed like something I could be really good at because I have experience in both areas. I worked for another logistics company right out of high school, which actually hired me after I completed a high school program I was in. I eventually left that job and went to Verizon, where I worked as a Sales Specialist.
I’m currently in college studying in the health field. My current graduation timeline is around 2028-2029, and I’m actually pretty open about the fact that I may continue my education after that. I’m also going into Health Information Technology, so it’s not like I’m going into something completely unrelated to computers or business.
Today, an HR woman from this company called me. She told me she was training someone and had that person sitting in on the call, which was fine. But almost immediately, the interview started getting really weird.
She asked why I left my previous logistics job. I explained that I originally started there through a high school program, they hired me after the program ended, and eventually I moved and had the opportunity to work at Verizon, which was closer to where I was living at the time and was a better opportunity for me.
She then told me she had looked it up on Google Maps and that Verizon was only about 35 minutes away from my old logistics job. She basically questioned why I would have left over the commute and said that I should have just stayed at the logistics company.
I was honestly sitting there thinking, what the hell? Why are you arguing with me about a job I left years ago?
Then we talked about Verizon. I explained that I was laid off during the company-wide layoffs in December. She asked what I’ve been doing since then, and I told her I’ve been babysitting. That was also on my resume. I had been babysitting for a family, and the kids recently went back to school, which is why I’m looking for something else now.
She clearly didn’t like that answer either. She kept questioning why I hadn’t been working a traditional job since December. I explained that I’ve been in school and was intentionally getting all of my required in-person classes out of the way so that I could eventually be completely online and work full-time, which is what I’m doing now.
But it felt like literally every answer I gave her was treated like it was wrong or like I was making something up.
Then she kept asking why I wanted this job if I’m going to school for healthcare. She asked this question in so many different ways that I honestly lost count. It was basically, “Why would you work here if you’re going to school for something else?” over and over again.
And I understand asking that once. That’s a fair interview question. But at some point it felt less like she was trying to understand my goals and more like she was trying to convince me that I shouldn’t work there.
I’m also not even going into a traditional healthcare career. I’m studying Health Information Technology, which involves the technology/information side of healthcare. So working in a sales position, especially one involving computers, business, customers, etc., isn’t some completely random thing that has nothing to do with my future.
Eventually, the whole conversation became so overwhelming that my boyfriend was sitting nearby and basically gave me the look of, “This woman is never going to believe anything you say.” I ended up hanging up because I genuinely didn’t know what else I could say to make the interview productive.
Afterward, my boyfriend suggested I call the company and ask to speak to a manager because the whole thing was so bizarre. I called, and because it’s a family-owned company, I actually ended up speaking directly with the owner.
I want to clarify that my intention in calling was NOT to force them to give me the job or to “snitch” on this woman. At that point, I genuinely started thinking about the possibility that if she was treating every applicant this way, not everyone was going to do what I did and actually call the company afterward to explain what happened.
There could be people who are really qualified for these positions who just hang up, decide they don’t want anything to do with the company, and move on. The job has been posted on Indeed for 30+ days, so I started wondering if this kind of interview could actually be turning away people who could have been really good employees.
That’s exactly what I explained to the owner when I called.
Apparently, I wasn’t completely off base. He told me that it actually took some guts for me to call and tell him what happened because he can’t imagine how many people he’s potentially lost because of this. He said they’ve been having a hard time filling these positions for the past couple of months, and this HR employee has been conducting the interviews during that time.
He told me that she apparently hasn’t found anyone she thinks is good enough for the roles, and that it’s becoming extremely frustrating for him. He also seemed particularly upset that this was happening while she was training another employee, because now someone else was sitting in on that interview and potentially learning that this is how applicants should be treated.
He apologized several times and told me that this was absolutely not how he wanted someone to be treated during the hiring process. He said he would personally handle it, call me back, and interview me himself. He also specifically told me not to take that experience as an example of how their company operates.
Honestly, I’ve never had an interview like this before. I’ve had difficult interviews, I’ve been asked uncomfortable questions, and I’ve had employers question things on my resume. But I’ve never had someone repeatedly challenge almost every answer I gave and make me feel like I had to prove that I wasn’t lying.
So now I’m curious: has anyone else had a job interview like this? Would you have handled the situation differently, or would you have ended the call too?

I (20F) am looking for some insight or to see if anyone else has experienced this. I was recently in an almost three-year-long relationship with my ex. I lost my virginity to him at 17, and because I was extremely inexperienced, I didn't recognize the red flags. The very first time we had sex wasn't even my choice—he pressured me into it, and I gave in because I thought "that's just what people in relationships do." It wasn't enjoyable at all, and because I never craved or wanted it, I started to think something was wrong with me.
About a year and a half into the relationship, sex actually started to become physically painful. Afterward, I would literally sit in the bathroom and cry because I felt so disgusting and used.
Once I grew comfortable enough to start saying "no," things got significantly worse. We were living together at the time, and since I was still in college, he made himself the sole provider. He began using that leverage to coerce me. My "no" was met with financial and emotional blackmail: *"We won't eat until you do this,"* or *"We can't go to your event until we do this."*
When I finally confronted him and told him how wrong it felt to have basic human needs withheld over sex, he changed his tactics—but only slightly. Instead of withholding needs like food, he started withholding things I wanted to do. If I wanted to go bowling, he’d make the plans, but tell me we couldn't leave the house until I gave in. The emotional toll made the physical pain so much worse, to the point where I was actively crying *during* intimacy. He never cared.
Eventually, I realized I didn't love him, let alone like him. Arguments broke out constantly because I couldn't hide my dislike for him anymore. He accused me of using him every day and insisted there was something wrong with my mind and body. He kept hounding me to see an OBGYN or a therapist to "fix" why I didn't like sex, pounding it into my head that I wasn't normal.
When I finally left him, he blew up my phone claiming we were "just on a break" and that we'd work it out. I did end up seeing a therapist, and she immediately told me that everything he had done to me was abusive and wrong. That gave me the clarity to cut off all communication completely.
About a month ago, I met someone new. He is an actually good, respectful guy who puts absolutely zero pressure on me. It’s like night and day. All of those negative feelings, the dread, and the physical pain have completely melted away. I actually feel desire for him, it feels amazing, and I don't feel sick to my stomach afterward.
I’ve lightly touched on this with my therapist, but I’m turning to Reddit for your perspectives. Was my body actively rejecting my first boyfriend due to the trauma and lack of attraction? Has anyone else gone through this?

I (20F) and my "ex" (21M) had been together for 4 years and living together since I was 17.

We were originally in a rental but 2 years ago he bought a house. Moving into the house caused immense hardship on our relationship. It was always arguments and one person always felt that what the other person was doing was wrong.

We have 2 cats and 2 dogs.

When I moved out at 17 it was to escape childhood trauma. My "ex" also.

Recently, the arguments got to bad. I am finishing up 1 degree and double majoring currently. I am also in between jobs and the financial hardships became a big issue.

We recently split. I got my things and took 1 dog. We own a small business together so ultimately decided that we still need to have weekly meetings and wanted to remain friends.

I am living with my family now. Doing school and babysitting to get by. We recently had the conversation that we think we might just need a break as we still love each other but need to get therapists and try to find who we are without each other before trying again. We both took a lot of our childhood trauma and used those bad habits (anger issues, emotional issues, etc.) against each other.

We still text during the day and speak about the pets and small accomplishments. When we see each other there is strong boundaries and we may watch a movie after working but fully remain as friends.

I obviously do not know how long until I feel ready, but do these breaks actually work to make changes in the relationship? also, how often are people following through and getting back together?

TL;DR Technically on a break but just friends? Do these work?