u/Status_Ninja_8619

I hope this isn't too long. I'm dividing the text into many paragraphs so it's not too clustered I guess. Thank you in advance for reading this if you have the time.

I am a 20 year old male American and I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5. I have always had issues coping with my emotions and gotten in altercations at school by throwing objects in classrooms when mad.

I have always been a good student in terms of work ethic and general friendliness gaining popularity among teachers even since Elementary school despite my issues and even returned general education after spending a half of 2nd grade in partial SPED and a half of 3rd grade in full SPED.

In my later years (18 to 20), graduating high school, working jobs, and going to tech school really amplified my stress and consequently my anger so I occasionally or even frequently yell at my family when I feel misunderstood or unheard regarding my intense insecurities and envy of others' successes in school and jobs of my age.

I am so tired of being angry and envious of others my age. I finally bought a car earlier this year and have my license, but I still feel bad. I do really well sometimes at various work places since my first job at a movie theater to now working at FedEx.

My parents still tell me that I'm great with my amazing dad telling me I'm a "really hard worker" and even my mom telling me I'm "amazing". My car is an old V6 Mustang with an automatic, but I'm still glad to own it. I like working at FedEx 5 days a week working in the early morning so I have the rest of the day off and relax while still making decent money.

However, I still don't feel satisfied at all when I think about my future and others' lives. I am 20 years old with only a TCC for PC Repair And Network Technician from technical college with no confidence in the field after sucking at class.

I had to rely on the internet and Al because I was always impatient in studying and I still struggled with the material because of my intense anxiety and ADHD which drove me to even more anger outbursts due to my incompetence. Seeing my classmates aiming for diplomas got me so angry. There's too many choices out there for me to dedicate to a single career especially cyber security that overlapped with my program because it's so hard for me.

It doesn't help when mother fuckers online have made generalized comments making fun of Americans and calling us lazy and our country a hell hole. I know there're comments but I take things very personally and even shake and curse sometimes when thinking about it like I'm at fault for being born here despite working my ass off at times!

I am 20 years old and aging fast and I don't have much time. I want to go to avionics class to go back to Gulfstream but It will be difficult to work and go to school full time and I don't know what to do.

I am sick of lectures and advice from others including my parents because I am still feeling suicidal and intense anxiety despite all I have been given. I have an amazing family and group of friends but I am not fucking good enough for them.

I hope this isn't too long. I'm dividing the text into many paragraphs so it's not too clustered I guess. Thank you in advance for reading this if you have the time.

I am a 20 year old male American and I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5. I have always had issues coping with my emotions and gotten in altercations at school by throwing objects in classrooms when mad.

I have always been a good student in terms of work ethic and general friendliness gaining popularity among teachers even since Elementary school despite my issues and even returned to general education after spending a half of 2nd grade in partial SPED and a half of 3rd grade in full SPED.

In my later years (18 to 20), graduating high school, working jobs, and going to tech school really amplified my stress and consequently my anger so I occasionally or even frequently yell at my family when I feel misunderstood or unheard regarding my intense insecurities and envy of others' successes in school and jobs of my age.

I am so tired of being angry and envious of others my age. I finally bought a car earlier this year and have my license but I still feel bad. I do really well sometimes at various work places since my first job at a movie theater to now working at FedEx. I even did really well in the eyes of my supervisors at Gulfstream during a high school apprenticeship (being the first student to work in the Tech Ops department in that location.

My parents still tell me that I'm great with my amazing dad telling me I'm a "really hard worker" and even my mom tellimg me I'm "amazing". My car is an old V6 Mustang with an automatic but I still am glad to own it. I like working at FedEx 5 days a week working in the early morning so I have the rest of the day off and relax while still making decent money.

But I still don't feel satisfied at all. I am 20 years old and I don't have a diploma. I only have a TCC for PC Repair And Network Technician from technical college with some praise from my instructors for my work ethic and grades.

But grades are just numbers. I had to rely on the internet and AI because I was always impatient in studying and I still struggled with the material because of my intense anxiety and ADHD which drove me to even more anger outbursts due to my incompetence.

Seeing my classmates aiming for diplomas got me so angry. There's too many choices out there for me to dedicate to a single career especially cyber security that overlapped with my program because it's so hard for me.

It doesn't help when mother fuckers online have made generalized comments making fun of me for my car being slow and me being passionate about GTA VI and true crime (calling me a dullard when I confronted them and bragging about climbing mountains while I'm in a 'basement'). I know there're comments but I take things very personally and even shake sometimes when thinking about it.

I am 20 years old and aging fast and I don't have much time. I want to go to avionics class to go back to Gulfstream but It will be difficult to work and go to school full time and I don't know what to do.

I am sick of lectures and advice from others including my parents because I am still feeling suicidal and intense anxiety despite all I have been given. I have an amazing family and group of friends but I am not fucking good enough for them.