Do I have false hope?
We been together 4 years, and just moved in together this year. My boyfriend says he’s having conflicted feelings about me now (small signs showed about 1 month that i overlooked) but still loves and cares for me. He also brought up many things that I agree with. Being with him really put a mirror to my doings… I’ve been unemployed but trying to get jobs still - and in that time i realized i’ve been too comfortable with doing nothing. i now realized i have that tendency. My boyfriend says he doesn’t mind me being unemployed, but there’s a few things that do/did bother him. Like me not being social, exercising, etc.
I’ve been a bit depressed and honestly very anxious since moving away from where i’ve grown up, but i know i really wanted to get away from my parents. And in that, i haven’t been social or making an effort to make new friends around here - which leaks into the relationship bc i always complain to him that i’m lonely and cry at night. and when he goes out with his friends on friday nights after work, i question him if he’s cheating (even tho i trust him, i only asked bc a friend made me overthink). I also constantly ask to spend time with him bc i have no friends and am anxious. He told me to join clubs and stuff but i always made excuses saying i’m unemployed and should use my money wisely. I also stopped going to the gym because our gym membership ended and only did low effort/half ass workouts at home. While my boyfriend has been going out actively playing basketball and going to the gym to be better for me (and him). And I understand all this now. I understand how it would make someone lose feelings seeing someone not try or grow as a person/be stagnant. It probably made him feel stagnant too and helpless.
So what I’m asking is, if i’m willing to step up and grow with him (be more social, exercise, etc), do you think we can save this relationship? He says he feels good about us now and then after talking it out, but he feels guilty afterwards sometimes because of his complicated feelings. He also says he’s not sure he’ll gain back feelings afterwards, but I have hope. Is it false hope?
I had a time years ago where i felt how he felt too, and i was able to get past his lowest point and stick with him to this day. Now he’s grown his hair, got skinnier, has this nice job, and going out more. I guess I feel hurt.. and i know he knows i am, which is putting pressure on him. I was able to stick with him when he had no car, looked worse, unemployed, but he can’t? Maybe I’m being selfish idk. He says he’d never be that kind of guy who drops a girl bc he’s doing better, but it feels like he is.
There’s obviously more details but i’ll leave it at that.