Lost my vulnerable narcissism friend of 5+ years today
I had a long-distance texting relationship with someone who seemed supportive and caring for five years. Although he clearly had issues -- the chronic victim mentality, the world not rewarding him fairly for his great talents, refusing to work a regular job and support himself that way because "he can't do jobs," living at home with his parents in his 50s, the cocaine use ... Believe it or not, from a distance, the relationship was quite fulfilling most of the time. We shared a wicked sense of humor, love of '90s music, struggles with depression and ADHD, being unmarried and childless, and more.
Within the past year, it started to break down as he'd no longer watch movies with me and he started rambling more and more about himself and never asking about me, often sending chaotic, uninterpretable texts of word salad. Within the past three to four months, it broke down further. I told him a scary medical thing and got absolutely no reply the first two times I mentioned it. The third time, he gave me a performative/sarcastic, "Please share! Details!" Meanwhile, he'd go on and on about his constipation, diarrhea, allergies, etc.
This week, I told him about a medical trauma I had in a doctor's office, and he actually sent a laughing emoji and then talked about his own relatively minor problems and how it was near impossible to make lasting connections in today's society. Blindsided, I said, "I'm sorry if I've disappointed you." He sent a second laughing emoji and said, "You're on a roll." What?! When I pressed him, he told me I was "mental" and "female" therefore "double sensitive," and I should always assume good intent no matter what he says.
He seems like a vulnerable narcissist to me, but how could he have been decent for five years? I didn't think a person like that could fake it for that long. And why not just end the friendship if I'd become such an annoyance? I know: He enjoyed the attention, right?